The showdown carries on, and this next round of 6 shall be rather interesting in comparison to the first...
See, this series was the brainchild of a dude seeking a way to write off his wine purchases as a business expense. Thus, this series.
Upon commencing the purchase to initiate the project, it was found that Save-On-Foods (a local grocery chain with a wine section offering only "VQA" approved wines - a sort of provincial quality standard here in British Columbia, Canada) gives a 10% discount if buying 6 bottles or more. So, I stocked up on 6 that were in the $20-25 range each, and the project began. Half were so-so, the other were pretty friggin' good.
Though for this round, the budget got lowered to the $10-15 range.
And upon opening the first bottle of the round - the Okanagan Hills Estate White Sands Blend... well, the difference in quality shows.
But then again, this series never was intended to be anything serious. Hardly.
Surely, proper wine connosseuirs would snobbishly raise their noses in the air upon reading my 'attempts' at reviewing wines. Nonetheless, who gives a fuck.
This series was meant to be fun..
So, fun, we shall have. Without further ado, here we go...
Perusing the aisles, with eyes fixed on price tags to find the lowest ones, the expectation for quality probably shouldn't have been set that high from the start.
And upon first glance at the label - which sure, is kinda fun and playful - one would probably also wonder how serious one could take the quality of a wine whose makers put old fashioned cartoons on it.
Though maybe that's just my bias. Somewhere, there probably is a bottle of wine with a decade-old cartoon on it that's primo.
But, we weren't going for high-quality this round. Just budget. And, something a little fun. So the label fit.
And come on, I mean...
"Oh... what a feeling! Open a bottle of your favorite wine, paired with serious attitude, notes of sarcasm, and the oh so famous Okanagan Hills Estate Grapes."
Yeah, ok. That's fun.
Though as for the wine itself... well, this was my honest impression:
This is the type of wine you might take on a first-date picnic with a girl who you're not really that interested in, but figure that maybe if she doesn't get too annoying after a bottle of wine, the date might be worth sleeping with her.
(Actually, I just added in the second half of that story now. Improvisation, baby. The first part, however, was honest.)
Not a girl who you really like. Cuz if you really saw yourself with her in the long-term, you definitely woulda spent the extra $5-10 to get a better bottle.
Nope. This one was reserved for that, "I need to at least get a cheap bottle of wine to numb out the awkwardness to make it through this date," moment.
Deep down, you probably weren't all that much into the girl in the first place. Maybe it was one of those situations where you happened to swipe right on Tinder while half-baked and not really digging into the details before finding out her hobbies are a total turnoff, but upon her also swiping right and finding it difficult to say no to that one picture where she looks kinda hot because it reminds you of that teenage crush you had on your substitute teacher, you figured it might be worth at least one attempt to see if there was enough chemistry to transition from an awkward date to the bed so you could half-live out the fantasy while you imagined that substitute teacher as you did while yankin' it in the school bathroom during science class.
(Okay. THAT just got a bit more interesting than I intended when starting this story. Total fiction, I promise.)
Why a date? Why a picnic? Who the fuck knows.
Some people sip wine and taste hints of citrus and fragrant overtones of cedar with fairydust infusions. Upon the first drop on my tongue, I tasted this scenario unfolding of such a wine being chosen based on the basis of being the cheapest one could possibly go to glaze over the disinterest with a below-average date. (And adding in after-the-fact, providing enough of a buzz to maybe get lucky - which would probably end up a one-night-stand and regretful, if not for the fact that one Tinder pic of hers reminded you of the teenage substitute crush.)
Annnnd... like the date, this story is now at a position of where it could get real awkward real fast if I don't pull something smooth or sarcastic out of my ass to cover up for the clear lack of detailed planning and foresight required of a half-decent story worth continuing. So, here we go...
There is a moral here.
Perhaps several.
First off: you get what you pay for.
Wine... cars... living or travel accommodations... hookers and cocaine... very predictably, price is a reflection of quality. And unless you want a brutal hangover, to be heading into the mechanic repeatedly, leaky pipes in your ceiling, a twitchy eye, and crabs, the little bit of extra money spent might be worth it. (Unless, of course, you're going on a date where you really don't care to impress the person - in which case, you probably shouldn't even bother going on it in the first place.)
Sure the Arrowleaf Snow Tropics I reviewed last week might have been like 70% more expensive. But holy shit, was it ever a whole lot better.
Not to say this white blend from Okanagan Hills Estate is bad, but they really are in two totally different classes. And that's okay. Sometimes budget is a deciding factor. And sometimes - like if you're planning for a mediocre date and don't wanna waste your money when you're not even sure if you're gonna get laid - the higher quality (and thus price) isn't justified.
(No offense at all to the ladies here!! This is merely humorous fiction. I am a married man, have the utmost respect for respectable women, and all references to dates and sex herein are for mere entertainment value ONLY.)
Secondly: sometimes relaxing a little bit to be stupid may be a healthy thing.
Yep. Go figure.
Writing can be a tough business. You've got things to teach, points to prove, info to share, blah, blah, blah. And it can really wear a dude down.
And to let loose a little bit and just exercise in some silly, wine-fuelled freewriting without any particular end goal in mind other than to cash in enough Steem Dollars to pay for the bottle of win... well, maybe it's a much-needed break from the seriousness of everyday life, struggling to pound out those words for the thousands of vote-worthy content-hungry Steemians.
Or, maybe you were dealing with screaming kids or egotistical bosses or nit-picky clients all day, rather than writing. Maybe you deserve a bottle of wine. Maybe not the best, most expensive one. Maybe the credit bills from all that internet porn and cotton candy party didn't even leave you enough leeway to go for anything better than the cheapest bottle at the discount liquor store. But fuck it.
Yeah, sometimes the higher pricetag produces a better quality experience.
Though maybe sometimes you don't need the bells and whistles, and just enough to give a proper buzz allowing the looseness to improvise and exercise some creative jibber-jabber is all that's needed to hit the reset button so you wake up refreshed (given the whole bottle not be finished in one sitting) in the morning and ready to head back out into the world to kick ass.
Third, and lastly...
This point, you get to fill in for yourself.
I must confess, this story is not amongst those I'm most proud of having published here on Steemit (or anywhere, ever, for that matter). Yes, I half-assed my way through it. Wholeheartedly.
And while I'd hope, that a few laughs were had throughout the course of this crazy journey, there was some gem of a takeaway you might have gotten from it, which I may have never intended.
If that was the case, do please share in the comments below.
If not... well, maybe you just oughta lighten up with half a bottle of wine, come back to reread, and see what nutty enlightenment might be gleaned through a repeat. Or not.
And in conclusion:
Don't go on Tinder dates if you're really not into the person. Even if they're hot and remind you of a teenage crush.
And for the picnic dates you do go on, it might be worth spending the extra $5-10 on a bottle of wine that leaves a better impression than this Okanagan Hills Estate White Sands Blend did on me.
:-p