You and I have a thing in common. We're all running on a hamster wheel that goes round and round and round and round. Pause a minute to contemplate on this. Most of the drivel here are just drivel. Don't I repeat Don't think that any of this is true. Continue running on your own hamster wheel.
There. Did that sink in already?
Okay good.
Meanwhile...
- A U.S. Navy ship is sailing close to an illegal Chinese impromptu military facility in the Spratley islands. Kinda like a game of chikun!
US: "Oooh, we're sailing our navy destroyer near your missile islands!"
China: "Ahhh! Why you sailing your ship near our missile islands! Unfair! Unfair! Red alert! Red alert! Send our airplanes! Send our ships! Send the United Nations... wait..."
Philippines: "Ahhhh! Our President will ride a jetski with a Philippine flag and, and, and, er... Plant the flag on the island? Oh shit. There's missiles on those islands. Wooooooowwww!"
US: "You're not a world power buddy. You are either with US, or you're with China. (wink) (wink)"
China: "He no world power. You. You go back to your own islands. I buiiiiillldd trains with your loans! (wink) (wink)"
Philippines: "Runs back chasing its own citizens with a stick. Pay your tax! Pay your tax! So I can be world power and have huge loans!"
Filipinos: "Ahhhhh! Run!"
- A teenager got arrested because he wants to bomb an Elton John Concert in London
Teenager: (In front of the computer) "Harumph, sharump, patump, Elton John, grrr, Elton John. I hate the 'Circle of Life.' but I love the Lion King."
Google search: How to buy a maching gun
Google: "21,666 Results"
Teenager: "Yeah, I feel so hacker. I'm gonna shoot everybody up, because, because, I hate Elton John's music!"
- Meanwhile at the CIA, NSA, FBI, DHS, MI-5 Joint Intelligence Task Force "Operation Turban in London"
Agent: "Sir. We got a ping - and a pong. Somebody's searching for an assault rifle in London, stepped on one of our honeypots."
Director: "Okay, bring up his Facebook profile."
Agent: "Initializing tamper protocol."
Agent: "Scrolling.... Scrolling... There. He's been liking too many ISIS videos and posting them. He's written some sort of essay that my first grade teacher would probably spit at. He recently broke up with an Asian girl who seems to have liked...Sir! You gotta take a look at this! Mish Mosh Protocol Initiated. His ex... Likes Elton John. omg.
Director: "Inform the director of MI-6. Priority Alert."
- Meanwhile at Wikileaks
Assange: "Look Ed, traffic from the NSACIAFBIMI-6 servers are cranking up the heat. Damn spooks are up to something again. God I miss Starbucks."
Ed: "There's Starbucks here in Moscow. They serve Vodka too."
Assange: "Anyway, you know the NSA hacking tools that you - I mean - somebody else leaked?"
Ed: "Uh huh?"
Assange: "Some kids got a copy and are running around with it. Ransomware. That's a thing now."
Ed: "You don't say."
Assange: "You know what they are asking for?"
Ed: "Nope."
Assange: "Bitcoins."
Ed: "They should have asked for STEEM CREDITS."
Assange: "That would be a bad idea."
- Meanwhile, at the Federal Reserve
Fat Guy in Suit with Monocle and Bowler Hat: (Twiddles fingers in front of a terminal with a quantum computer) "Bitcoins huh? (Snort Snort). B-lock-chain (Snort Snort). Hu he hu he he.
THE END ~July 4 2017