An interesting contest was proposed that a few of us in #teamgirlpowa participated in.
https://steemit.com/happywoman/@sfp-cebu/happywoman-an-sfp-cebu-womanpower-photo-contest
this is the new one. its supporting a woman who I hope joines steemit cuz she seems awesome. I'm not doing the happy one. obviously.
Meanwhile, I was busy getting stressed out and letting impulse control and hormones rule me.
I really wanted to post something here this week about my recent discovery that I might have Boderline Personality Disorder (https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml )
"Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behavior. These symptoms often result in impulsive actions and problems in relationships. People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that can last from a few hours to days."
And thats just the fun part.
So lets see my laundry list:
1- Adult ADHD
2- Anxiety (potentially from BPD)
3- Depression (see above)
4- General Panic (Ahem)
5- Claustrophobia (okay thats just on its own)
6- Mild Hypochondria (basically me just being paranoid and panicking and jumping to conclusions -classic BPD)
But of course if you met me in real life or even chatted with me on a good day you'd think "wow, great girl, so smart and cheerful and sweet"
I have been told by my boss that my co-workers think that I am tricking them so that I can get them into trouble. This is. I believe, because one minute im giggling and cracking jokes and the next minute I'm mad as hell.
This isn't a new thing. I've been this way my entire life. I would go through the cycles of thinking im awesome and killing shit and then stumbling and fucking up. Most people asked if I was bipolar but every therapist I ever went to would say "NO WAY I bet you are always just a doll!" And they would be right. Aside from my terrible grades in school before junior high (and subsequently after junior high) I was always teachers pet. I was excited about learning and always trying to go above and beyond. Usually when I did my adhd thing it was just me spacing out and forgetting homework. ALl in class work was stellar though. except those times when I wasn't a doll just ask my sister.
So the question is, now that I am a "woman" and grown n shit--- what does this mean for me? What does this mean for my fight for the empowerment of all oppressed peoples? Most importantly what does this mean for the the awesome men and women who are kind enough to trust and even sometimes be inspired by me? What kind of a role model or a leader has such strong words and strong opinions?
I often argue: well pretty much ever male leader I've ever met.
But I have had a few male leaders, colleagues, and teachers that were docile and gave me so much space. Not many but a few!! So truthfully, while it is generall more acceptable for a man to be forgiven for showing his teeth and getting brutish, over all we know scientifically that this isn't the best form of leadership.
This is why I am so torn, honestly to try and describe not only what a woman is to me but what is WOMAN POWER? I honestly believe that there is a deeply rooted power that comes from feminine sexuality but its almost like that word feminine is to simple to describe what I mean. Because I have seen men with this power. There is also the power that comes from breaking records in major institutions. There is the power of being a successful mother in her own space and believing in herself. There is power in being an intellectual woman that can outsmart those who will "mansplain".
But essentially woman power is anything a woman does brazenly and confidently against the status quo or regardless of what others think she will do.
This is where the puzzle peice make me excited for something I see on the horizon.
I challenge you:
- Find a new woman on steemit and give her a nice long welcome response! - invite her to this challenge as well as #steemsugars and #teamgirlpowa
- Make a blog post
- In it Talk about any mental or physical "battle with self" through song or poem or narrative..
- link back to aforementioned newbie and remind people how helpful it is to be welcomed. even when we are going through our own shit.
no pictures r banners today because its almost 4 am. I was sorting out stuff in the small time I have between struggling home in a BLIZZARD with my dumb hemmoraged cyst in my ovary and going to sleep.
:P
-limabeing aka Capn Girl Powa
I actually decided to add a pic of my new headphones which are giving my crazy ass life right now.
Listening to Kesha!!
