WOMEN AND THEIR INSECURITIES
An average woman, irrespective of colour or race feels insecure about one or more things in her life at a point in time. It is either the whine of she's too fleshy, or too bony, or rather, she wants her thighs toned down or inflated. Many others wishes for a prettier face, while others wants a whiter teeth, I want a more beautiful smile. Not like I don't have it but, in the world of a woman, everything is not perfect....
Some women don't care about their physical outlook but rather are afraid to be financially imbalanced. Others are afraid of loosing out on love. Many others who are in love are scared of it fading out. Quantitatively, it is normal for a woman with such many worries to have lots of mood swings, which is not lost in many women today (except of course you've got yours figured out). An average man could exhibit about three different emotive characteristics but a woman could act out about sixteen of such emotions in an hour. In essence, a woman needs assurance almost every minute in her daily existence!
Taking myself as a study case, I love to be assured a lot when I am in a relationship. I complain to my man how I want to shed a bit of fat here and there, or how I want to improve the outlook of my skin. Most times, rather than those things, I want just his assuring words. I want him to say "you are beautiful anyway you are babe". Not like I didn't know I am beautiful that way but I want to make sure he feels same; INSECURITY!
"Every woman has an area of insecurity, no matter how strong/perfect she appears on the outside"
HOW OUR MEN CAN HELP
1. Compliment, Compliment and Compliment her!
Dear men, do you know you can completely change a woman's mood by telling her how great she looks in a thing or body wear? In fact, you could stop another suicide attempt with this simple but effective tool of compliments. Men seem to overlook this aspect of a woman's need a lot but they don't know it's the most important and would brighten any woman's day, petty as it may seem. So stop stalling and compliment every woman in your life and of course, honestly.
2. Assure Her Of Your Love At All Times.
There was a cartoonized illustration I saw some days ago. The cartooned female kept asking the man through courtship, through marriage, through childbirth and even while they are graying "If he would continue to love her forever". The funniest part about the cartoon illustration was when they have both died and rotting in their skeletal frames, the woman still asked "If he would continue to love her forever!". Funny as it may seem, it is the reality of the woman's world. We need assurance at all times that we are loved and not loosing out on our loved ones; men, family and people who matter. Women undergo a lot of changes in their life, from childbirth scars to surgery marks or a little putting up of weight, sometimes loss. Woman in all these stages of life, needs you to tell them if you still want them like you first wanted. So men, if you really like her and wish to keep her for long, why not hold her hands, look into her eyes, and assure her with sincerity in your heart, that you still care, irrespective of of the changes eminent in her body or mind. It would solve a lot of insecurity problems.
3. Talk About It With Her...
Some men would rather change towards their woman if they discover any abnormality in her body, emotions, or lifestyles. Why keep silent when you could man up and talk about it? Communication solves a lot of issue. Bare your minor insecurities over her major ones and reach a consensus. Tender possible solutions in a way that won't hurt her ego. The womenfolk are created to be considerate, if she finds your solutions viable, she would work towards making you satiated. Note that, women are sensitive to words, actions and emotions, watch the way you tender your discussion.
4. Love Her Any Which Way!
Yeah, you read this right! Love her any which way! It is a lot battle the womenfolk face trying to accept themselves the beautiful way they are moulded. It would be much worse when, where we expect love, we find denial
Love us with our big tummies, love us with our flat backsides, love us with our curved noses, love us with our figure (i) shapes, love us with our short curled hairs, love us with that extra pound of fat. Would you love us with our uneven skin tone and also love us with our bony thighs or rather our dwarfish heights? Women can't keep over-stretching themselves trying to look perfect (in which at the end, we don't attain) for men sakes. Except probably you want to see the women race go extinct like the unwanted dinosaurs.
TO MY FELLOW INSECURE WOMEN:
Know that, we don't have to depend on others to make us appreciate ourselves. In fact, others compliment should be a bonus to our credibility.
Here are some tips on how to help defeat insecurities:
Appreciate Yourself.....
Every woman is unique in her own way and form. You are beautiful the way you are moulded. Do you know, that Slim lady who happens to be your body model aspires to be like some other person? That fleshy thighs you crave so badly, another is working day and night to she'd theirs. It is not bad to wish to be like someone else but it is bad when you pile on your emotions and hurt your own ego.
"The underlying factor is, everyone is created perfect but looking for perfection in where does not exist...."
Before anyone compliments you, you have to compliment yourself; before he loves you, please do you love yourself? Wake up every single day with the mentality of "I am the best of my kind" and watch only good emotions serenade you!
2. Take No Offense At Others Foul Remarks Of You.
Believe that not everyone would love beautiful things when they see one. In fact, some humans are created just to see the bad in every good; or should I rather say, they recreated themselves that way? Don't let others opinion of you form the basis of your insecurities. You know where it pinches in your body the most, what does others raunchy remarks matter anyway? Criticisms should instead be the basis of our self-belief. It means we are noticeable, attention drawers and unique! Come to think of it, why pass ill remarks on someone you haven't noticed? Hahaha... "I am a living proof of my Unique Existence"(I want you to repeat this after me).
3. Work Towards Change!!
We sometimes can't wrap our fingers around some certain insecurities in our lives. Say for instance, a bulgy tummy, a flat backside, or a bony thighs which makes wears looks unattractive. Rather than sit around sulking, you could work towards achieving the desired effect or at least try! Some feats are attainable while others are not,the keyword is to "TRY". in trying is some attached satisfaction which would change you from frustrated to hopeful to realism and in the long run, self-love. The most important change of all is to switch from that gloomy mood of yours and put on smile more often. I can beat my chest to tell you, nothing is more beautiful... Change starts from within
In Essence,
The secret of a happy life is LOVE. Feel free to give it out and receive when due!
Fix that broken Low-self Esteem today!
Fix that relationship 'you never want to see crumble but it already is' today!
Fix your marriage that is at the edge of divorce due to silence today!
Fix Yourself!!!!!
Love hasn't stopped conquering all things!
I remain your one and beautiful Love analyst, writer and poet, Aderonkemi 💓💓💓...
NB: I didn't write about the female insecurities because I am a feminist, I wrote because it is more common in women than men, which I would be writing on soon...