HITTING THE MATERNAL WALL
Have you ever been looked down at because you were "just" a mom or housewife? Have you had all of credentials, years of experience within a field or another (that includes motherhood itself) wiped out within seconds by a condescending, discriminatory or sexist remark?
Years back while being in maternity leave, I applied for a promotion. Unfortunately I have been told that I was offered a chance to put the family responsibilities before my professional growth. Thus I was overlooked for a promotion because I had responsibilities as a mother. Little I knew then that I had hit the maternal wall.
I did not realize right away that it was an illegal practice. I was upset because that decision was mine to take! Mine only! Unfortunately others thought otherwise! Let me tell you that I did not like the feeling!
The fact that I was no longer on a 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. schedule, had nothing to do with my ability to work. Motherhood did not numb my brain. The employer assumed that being a mother will prevent me from doing my job properly and devoting full time to work.
I personally believe that it enabled me to explore multiple areas and develop new skills.
Later on I learnt that family responsibilities discrimination was and still is illegal and it does occur more often than you’d think.
UNFAIRLY TREATED
When this incident took place, I tried not to get annoyed and see the reasons behind the condescending statement. I couldn't tell for sure what was the root cause. Envy, pure ignorance, racism, sarcasm or just a mean comment coming from an insecure person trying to identify himself with his work? Now I know it was discrimination.
Bottom line was that I felt I had been treated unfairly; I knew I deserved that promotion!
I must admit that that situation took me by surprise. Until that moment, I had never experienced discrimination before, or at least not work related. I was surprised to see that in North America the cultural stereotypes could lead to unequal opportunities or even job loss despite the fact that there were laws in place (Human Rights Act) in order to prevent any type of discrimination. I thought these issues were a thing of the past here. I was wrong!
GENDER and MOTHERLAND DISCRIMINATION
Before becoming a mother I had no idea to what extent women were marginalized from certain professions, corporate and social-life or even from their own circle of friends. While I was in maternity leave, I met a lot of other women, mothers with whom I became friends. One by one, they shared their stories with me. More women I met, more sad stories I learnt.
They all had had one thing in common: they had experienced one form of discrimination or another. They have been victims of these fixed ideas about culturally appropriate roles women were expected to take on. Needless to add that these experiences affected their careers, lives, even the perceptions they had and still have about themselves.
WHO IS TO BLAME?
The conservative religious beliefs and cultural norms were the main culprits for the unfairness they had witnessed. Some were refused entry into the workforce, or equal pay, while others had been fired before telling the Human Resources department they were pregnant or had no job to return to at the end of their maternity leave.
The gender discrimination represents a major impediment in a women’s development and it can have severe repercussions: emotional, economic and psychological.
That being said, let me turn into women’s advocate and tell you that a mother's schedule or skills are far superior to an executive assistant.
In the corporate world, everyone is bringing their A game, they all want to make it, which means there is little room left for emotions or family related topics/ issues.
In the rare occasions such topics are touched, they never pass the superficial level of "How are the kids?" followed shortly by the "Let's grab a coffee and discuss today's agenda.”
OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND! or THE MOTHERHOOD PENALTY
Image source: Flickr (Ran Zwigenberg)
Once you go in maternity leave you are gone. Out of sight, out of sight! Everyone forgets how good you were at your job. Not a surprise to find out that at the end of your maternal leave, your position may be abolished, demoted, transferred or simply gone. Although there are laws in place stating that women are protected against discriminatory practices, such things still happen.
During the pregnancy, women are the most vulnerable and sadly some employers take advantage of the situation; they make it impossible for women to continue working for them. MOTHERHOOD SHOULD BE ACCOMMODATED, NOT PENALIZED!
A MOTHER'S JOB DESCRIPTION
In a mother’s job description you can see that she’s long term player, capable of working variable hours (frequent 24h hours on call), often in a chaotic environment, with great physical stamina, excellent communication skills and no days off or wages paid.
A mom is by definition a very skilled multi tasking person with incredible organization skills and a fantastic memory. She is in charges of multiple departments:
- accounting - family budgeting, annual tax return
- acquisitions - groceries, shopping
- H.R. - conflict resolution, ombudsman
- I.T. - gadget repair
- marketing - promotion of her offspring
- ethics - leading by example
- health & safety - house and playground safety
- consulting- homework & school work/ project
- cafeteria manager- meal preparation
- floor maintenance and janitorial work
- recreational trainer - planning social gatherings, trips, activities for all ages
- sustainable development - schooling & career coaching
A mom does not need to be working for a corporation, she IS like a multinational Corporation herself! Her tentacles are managing everything!
Images source: Pixabay
#teamgirlpowa #thealliance #teamcanada #steemsugars
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@2018 LaviPicu aka The Lyme Poet. All rights reserved.
