GIRLS HATE WRESTLING [014 | There was NO MERCY]
Girls Hate Wrestling is a blog run by a girl, who in fact, LOVES pro-wrestling. This was originally an idea for a youtube series with my best friend, but that never happened. Now it's a blog of me channeling my love of a testosterone fueled soap opera of greased up men in underwear battling to lay on top of each other for 3 seconds... sometimes for a belt.
[DING DING DING]
No Mercy was a RAW exclusive PPV that took place in the Staples Center in Los Angeles, on September 24, 2017. There were five championships on the line, and a handful of singles matches. I missed the kick-off show, and didn't hear about it until a few hours before the PPV. Sorry Apollo and Elias; I won't be covering their match in this write-up. This was HANDS DOWN the BLOODIEST PPV we've had this year. I believe we might be getting out of the PG Era, guys!
The Intercontinental Championship
The Miz w/ Miztourage (c) vs Jason Jordan
This match was first up on the card for the ppv also Jason's first singles ppv match. Let me just start this off by saying I FINALLY like The Miz. It took over 7 years, but man so much respect. He has perfected the persona, and The Miztourage is a GREAT push for Bo and Curtis. Now, Jason Jordan is a hell of an athlete, but the most boring character. So in this ppv matchup, Miztourage is doing their normal fuckery and distracting Jason without causing a DQ. Jason hits quite a few beautiful suplexes (Have you seen his double Northern Lights combo thing!?!!?) but Bo causes a distraction for the ref so he doesn't see Jason roll Miz up fr a pin and then Curtis takes a cheapshot on Jason letting Miz hit Skull Crushing Finale to retain.
Singles Match
Finn Balor vs Bray Wyatt
Bray attacks Finn before the bell even rings, attacking his ribs. He receives some brief ringside medical attention and makes it back to the stage where Bray does his creepy swamp redneck god complex promo about how they're fighting "as men" and Finn books it back to the squared circle. Finn demons up and they go at it. Bray's on the offense and Finn gains an advantage by trapping Bray between the canvas and the ring skirt. Finn goes up top and Bray does his creepy backbend and they go back and forth with a slingblade and a running senton. Neither one can put the other one away. Finn goes nuts and slams Bray into corner after corner and hits Coup De Grace for the pin. Also a fun note from this match: Bray's mouth gets busted open and I died when the ring mic picked up "You made me bleed boy... I like that."
Raw Tag Team Championship
Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose (c) vs Cesaro and Sheamus
MATCH OF THE NIGHT. Cesaro and Sheamus immediately go for a double team distraction and take things outside the ring. Cesaro swings Dean into the steel steps as the ref screams to get back in the ring. Dean gets isolated in the corner opposite Seth and Cesaro is relentless. Cover after cover kick out after kick out. Cesaro flies into the ringpost and Dean makes a tag to Seth. Seth knocks Sheamus off the apron, Cesaro takes a boot and slingblade. Cesaro is POURING BLOOD from the ringpost smash. Sheamus interferes while the ref is checking on Cesaro and he tags in. Cesaro is outside getting medical attention and Sheamus is dominating the match alne. Cesaro is powering through and gets back up on the apron. Cesaro kicks Dean off the apron, double team on Seth. Seth's throwing chops to Sheamus and Cesaro tags in when Sheamus hits shoulder first in the corner. Dean's back in and fired shots to Sheamus in the corner. Dean's got crazy eyes and suicide dive and it looks like he's popping his shoulder in place on the barricade for a second. Dean drops and elbow from the top rope and Cesaro breaks up the pin. Dean gets caught in the Sharpshooter then into the crossface, rope break! Dean bounces off the ropes and wildly flies into Cesaro. Tag to Sheamus, White Noise to Dean then Seth gets powerbombed off the top rope into Dean and he still kicks out! There's a nice little back and forth between teams resulting in Cesaro being knocked off the apron by Sheamus, he's thrown back in by Seth, and Dean ultimately hits Dirty Deeds and gets the pin to retain.
SO MUCH BLOOD.
Raw Women's Championship Fatal 5-Way
Alexa Bliss (c) vs Sasha Banks vs Nia Jax vs Bayley vs Emma
Typical Fatal 5-way. Bodies flying everywhere. Nia hits a really nice double Samoan Drop. Bayley and Sasha had a small team for a second, then broke up pinfall attempts on each other. Emma and Alexa did the same thing. Nia got hit with a massive double backdrop double kick by the other four women. Nia takes a huge bump on the ringpost. Alexa retains. Gimme a singles match, kthanks.
Singles Match
John Cena vs Roman "Jabroman" Reigns
I realllllllly tried to care about this. But it was exactly what I expected. Superman punches, AA, STF, Samoan Drop, drive by. Both dudes hit all their signature moves. Steel steps were involved. tables were broken and there was a good spear. The crowd was very odd during this match, and it made it incredibly hard to focus on. I'm rewatching it as I type this and I'm still distracted because the crowd mostly hates both of them. This entire match made way more sense after watching Raw Talk and RAW... it's about respect and Jabroman filling the shoes Vince wants him in. Dude retired Undertaker, Cena can't do this forever. Oh, Roman wins.
Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) vs Enzo Amore
This was weird and unexpected by pulled off successfully. I'm satisfied. Again, Enzo has mic skills, Neville is the technician. Neville throws Enzo around the ring like a freaking ragdoll, and not in the good way like Sami Zayn's selling. Just completely destroyed little Zo. Enzo takes kicks and chops and Neville is NOT holding back. Enzo the little sneak, grabs the title and uses it as a distraction. While the ref isn't looking he hits Neville with a Low Blow and Enzo FINALLY HAS A CHAMPIONSHIP. It was cheap and dirty, but EXACTLY what they needed to do with his character. It's working really well for 205 Live (hell, I watched it for the first time in months this week) and may be partly due to his backstage heat. Gotta love storylines.
Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs Braun Strowman
This was way cooler than I expected but I am not happy. GEEEEEEEEEZ. Two huge dudes just crushing each other. Braun stopped Brock in his fucking tracks. Brock has no idea what to do. Suplex from Brock but Braun is back on his feet. Braun hits Brock with a chokeslam and a running powerslam and Brock kicks out of a pin. Braun's face is busted open and it's two minutes in, MAYBE. Braun is throwing shoulders in the corner and Brock goes for Suplex City and gets DENIED. Brock goes for an F5 and Braun just drops back and shoves him out of the ring. This entire match is these monsters just throwing each other into barricades and turnbuckles and the canvas. Brock finally dodges a shoulder slam in the corner and he manages to lock in the Kimura lock on Braun temporarily. Paul starts Paul-ing outside the ring and looks like he's gunna explode every time Braun slams Brock. Brock hits Suplex City x5 then tries to F5. Braun counters with a running powerslam and takes the force on his arm and can't get the cover. Braun hits ANOTHER running powerslam but just can't get a pinfall. Brock manages a sloppy F5 to retain.
[DING DING DING]
So, No Mercy was in general a really great PPV. That Tag match stole the fucking show. Cesaro is a BEAST. My boyfriend even uttered the words, "He isn't a prime cut anymore," in reference to a running joke we got going on. In other wrestling news, my dude, Jeff Hardy is INJURED! Shoulder surgery. No good. I'm unhappy. Let's see what WWE throws at us for Hell In A Cell for Smackdown's next PPV. and At TLC for Raw, we'll have the debut of Asuka! Women's division 'bout to get turned upside down. Alexa won't have that belt for long.
A note to my wonderful followers that are fans of wrestling &/or music: I will be posting in the near future about something that is very important to me. I have not been extremely personal on steemit yet, but this is where it will happen. Please stayed tuned and I just ask for your support when the time comes.
As always, Don't be a jabroni!
