Veterans and service members, both men and women, carry
Many deep and enduring wounds that do not show on the
Outside.
One woman who was a medic in Iraq put it very
Succinctly: ”each time you have someone, be it civilian
Or soldier, a woman or especially a child, come in with
Limbs blown off or burned badly, a little part of you is
Torn away as well. After days and days of this over
And over, you become broken; sometimes trying to
Harm yourself to end the pain."
This, I understand.
I myself was never in direct combat, but MY job,
If we had gone to war while I was on duty, was
To launch a missile, an ICBM with the largest
Nuclear Bomb we had in our arsenal at the
Time.
If that had occurred, you could be SIRE that
Hundreds more such Missiles
Would also being launched; the World
as we knew it had come to an end.
My wounds are so deep, I rarely Dream about it, but when I do
It is horrid.
When I see an Image of a mushroom cloud,
I cringe inside.
If I am alone, and I am almost always
Alone,
I cry.
Most can’t imagine what this is like;
Carrying around the Horror of what you MIGHT
Have done to your friends and
Family, in carrying out your orders.
For this, the VA offers you counseling
IF you got an honorable discharge, if not...
Nothing.
It is like I walk around with an
Open, running sore for which there is
No treatment; no relief.
Such Pain.
“Such Pain”
by
Jerry E Smith
©11/13/16
top image
cemetery
This is a deeply personal writing for me.
It expresses my daily internal turmoil, which I manage (for the most part)
To gloss over and carry on despite being tied up in knots
