The problem of choice refers to a truly inexhaustible. In essence, the entire history of mankind begins with it, because the choice made by Eve changed the course of its history forever. I'm kidding, of course, ... in part ...
The choice we make constantly. We choose what to wear in the morning, what we will eat for breakfast, we choose the institution in which we want to study, choose a place of work, choose a partner. The history of our life is the history of the elections we have made. With those or other consequences.
Various trainings, articles, and recommendations tell us how to make the right choice. We weigh all the pros and cons, we write lists of the necessary qualities that we show to the partner, work, things. And on the basis of all this we are trying to choose.
And we often make mistakes. No, we get exactly what was ordered after formal signs, so that there is nothing to be bargained for. But, for some reason, everything turns out exactly as with the hero of the movie "Bedazzled."
And we understand that somewhere in the scheme of our logical constructions there is a mistake. I do not know what you think, but it seems to me that this mistake consists in the fact that by formulating our request we often miss one important detail. We never specify how we will feel with this partner, at this job, in this house, etc. We exclude ourselves from the equation, from the whole scheme. But then for whom are all these logical constructions?
That's so easy! But is it really that simple?
I will disappoint you. There is always a catch. And this catch is that often, answering the simple question "how I want to feel", we take into account the opinion of only one of our subpersonality leading at the time of choice. And here lies the second error. Making a choice that can significantly affect our lives (most often, the selection of a partner or the choice of work for this choice), it is necessary to "take into account the opinion" of all your subpersonalities (usually a child-parent-adult triad, although in fact there are significantly more ).
Thus, the correctness of the choice depends, to the maximum extent, not so much on the properties of the chosen object, as on the knowledge of oneself, its true values, desires and aspirations.
Be attentive to yourself and get what you really want!
I wish you a nice day and a good mood!