Social standards and morals tell us that the truth is good, and the lie is bad. Tell me honestly, are you always telling the truth? And if not, why do you act against the moral attitudes that you have been taught since childhood?
We teach the children to tell the truth, we condemn others for lying, but we often resort to its help. Even if we do not lie outwardly, we often hold back something, which in itself is also a lie.
The secret is that in life there are many situations, the resolution of which with the help of moral norms will lead to nothing but a catastrophe. But it is morality that requires us to tell the truth.
There is one more aspect. Suppose you always and everywhere say the truth. Are you sure that your interlocutor is ready to hear this truth? Indeed, the truth may turn out to be such that it will require certain actions from us, to which we are simply not ready.
I will give a very simple example. Once my grandmother admitted that twice in her life she had a suspicion that my grandfather was cheating on her. In a burst of youthful maximalism, I exclaimed: "So why did not you ask him directly?! You always need to know for sure!" To which the grandmother answered: "When you grow up, you will understand that everything is not so simple in life. Let's say I asked him and he would say it's true. Then I should have made a choice: to forgive him and thereby allow him to do so in the future or to break our marriage. None of these options suited me, so I did not need this truth. We lived well and destroy our lives because of his momentary fascination would be foolish."
On the other hand, lying is harmful when you thus make the future of a person vague. For example, you have firmly decided to leave your family or your work, but you continue to tell your spouse or boss that everything is fine and you will stay with them "until death part you."
You can think that in this way you protect their feelings, but in fact they deprive them of the opportunity to reschedule their lives and plans in time.
When choosing between truth and lie, one can not be guided by the rules of morality. These rules are dogmatic and require only the truth. In turn, ethics encourages us to make a decision based on each specific situation. This is the best way, more flexible and humane.
As truth, so lies can be a weapon of enormous destructive power. Handle them carefully!