I don't know whether to say yes or no.
Uptove?
You obviously have a good idea for a story, but it is difficult to read because of the too many mistakes you make in the language. Steemit is international, for everyone, of all languages. I don't know how you are translating into English, but it is not working.

I suggest you post in your language and in English. If the reader likes it but wants a better translation, you give them the possibility of doing so, as they can use the original (your language) to maybe use a better translation service.

You also do not say, is this the end of your story? It sounded to me like the beginning.