Most of us, if not all, aspire to be the best version of ourselves especially for things that we love to do. In my case, I have always loved writing. In fact, through it, I was able to make a living for seven long years along with SEO and web development jobs.
I love things to be perfect, especially when it comes to my work. I am very strict when it comes to quality. And while this is a good thing, sometimes it causes a delay in my tasks.
Nevertheless, despite the challenges, when we are working for someone, somehow we manage to get the work done. Maybe it is the pressure that comes with the job that pushes us to finish the tasks no matter how difficult they are.
However, about two years ago, I decided to leave my job as a freelance writer, for good. I wanted to find a purpose in my life because being a ghostwriter did not give me the sense of fulfillment I was craving for. I was lonely. I wanted the world to know that I was the one behind the multiple articles that got viral on Ezinearticles, HubPages, Ehow, Squidoo, Buzzle, Linkedin, etc.
I have thought of putting up my own digital marketing company. In fact, without realizing, I was already doing it. I hired people to work for me since I could no longer handle multiple clients at the time. But when I was about to go full blast and open my own website, I lost all confidence. I felt like I couldn't handle the pressure and the expectations of my clients and my people. My fear and self-doubt consumed me. I was too afraid to take the risk.
And so I made a decision. I changed my career. I became a teacher.
For two years, I stopped writing. I focused on my new profession as a teacher. I tried to find my purpose. And fortunately, I was able to find that in the field of teaching. In my heart I know I am doing something noble, something worthwhile.
Then Steemit came. I fell in love with the platform. I became immersed in different communities.
Because of the promising potential of the platform, I started writing again. Every article I posted on my page gave me a sense of satisfaction. I was happy again. For a while.
Then people started to notice me. I gained loyal followers. And I couldn't be more grateful for everyone who has supported me since day one! This was what I have been wanting for a very long time -- to be recognized and appreciated for my work by my readers and not merely by my employers. Here, I was no longer a ghostwriter. I write under my pen name.
However, the more I gained the trust and loyalty of my readers, the more I became conscious of my work. I always wanted to write better articles than the previous ones. I became my own personal critique. I became too hard on myself.
It has been 29 days since I wrote something on my page. The latest post that I had was a spoken one, which I have written a long time ago, so that was an exemption.
See, it took me this long to update my blog! I am ashamed to even call myself a writer!
I have a bunch of topics I want to write about. Ideas would come out. But I felt like they were not good enough. Every time I start writing, I couldn't progress because everything I wrote feels empty and boring. I would spend a significant amount of time revising my work over and over again.
I have set a standard that is too high! I was obsessing with perfection! Until it took over me and I couldn't write anymore.
I knew I was fooling myself. I knew something has to change. And the change must happen NOW!
So I asked myself this: Why do you write?
It took me a while, but the answer was really simple. I write because I love to write.
The recognition and appreciation from the readers are just a bonus. If we truly love to write, then wouldn't we feel happy just by being able to write?
Filling the empty space of our paper is the easiest part of writing. It is our fear to be rejected or being unappreciated that inhibits us from writing.
I have realized that perfection is far from reach. But when we write from the heart and just enjoy every bit of the process, the end result may not be the best there is, but believe me, it would still be good enough!
Worrying about perfection is a complete bullshit and a total waste of time! Sometimes we are able to mold gold after writing a pile of worthless shit. So keep writing shit! ;)
In the words of the great actor and my ultimate crush...
Thank you for reading! :)
