Ever feel that the world is conspiring against you? Today felt like that.
It all started when I had to drive my dear friend back to Canada to catch his flight home. He lives in Calgary and it is much cheaper and more convenient for him to fly to Abbotsford, BC than it is to travel to Seattle. This isn't new news for anyone who has experienced Seattle traffic. For the rest of you, I will quote from the Business Insider to give you an inkling:
"TomTom, a navigation and mapping company, ranked US cities that have the most traffic congestion in its 2017 Traffic Index.
After collecting data over a nine-year time span, TomTom measured the extra travel time experienced by drivers over an entire year. TomTom assessed 189 cities overall and gave each a congestion score out of 100. Each percentage represents how much extra travel time it took on average to make any trip, anywhere in the city."
Looking back over today, navigating the Seattle traffic might may have been the lesser of two evils.
North Bound
Since my friend's flight didn't leave till 9:45 am we estimated that we would need to leave my house by 8 to get there in time. Time seemed to whip by and we finally left the house at 8:20. Thinking that we had plenty of time, I stopped for gas and the bank before hitting the I-5 at 8:30. I started to get the sickening feeling in my stomach when I looked at the time as we were driving north for the minutes were flying faster than the miles. We approached the border and we had 15 minutes to spare. I sighed a breath of relief as we turned onto the road to the airport. The distance was only a couple of miles and I could make up some time on the back roads. It was going to be tight but doable until we turned the corner and saw the train.
What was really weird was when I went there the week before to pick him up, a train across my path as well. Damn thing made me late too! Luckily his flight was a little late and he didn't have to wait long for me. Of the many times I have taken that route, I have encountered a train only once before. I was incredulous when I saw the train for I was an hour later in the day! How could this be happening? My friend started to panic for all he saw was dollar signs for a missed flight. He specifically booked the flight today to save $200 and here he was theorizing and visualizing his lost savings.
Someday soon I will share with you all the miraculous stories of the items I have lost and unusual circumstances where everything works out. My friends almost call it Jax Magic for it can appear unexplained. This is a prime example of the difference between head knowledge and practical application for my friend stumbled. If you met this guy you would think that very few things ruffled him because of his stoic calmness and expression. Today I witnessed him getting worked up as he tried to phone the airport in a last ditch effort to contact them. We knew our fate was sealed when we drove past the runway and saw his flight take off; definitely not a good sign lol.
South Bound
With this delay it meant that I was going to have to boogie if I was to make it to work on time. After a few wrong turns I made it to the bank to deposit my American money. That is definitely one perk of living in the United States for the exchange works in my favor in instances like this. After that, I had a couple small errands to run and finally headed to the border. As I came over the hill, I thought I was dreaming. Right in front of me was ANOTHER TRAIN. Are you kidding me? I was already pressed for time and I didn't need this right now. I sat there for 10 minutes until I saw a possible detour. With fingers crossed, I turned and followed the road to an area I've never been to before. Soon the road I needed was in front of me and my hope began to rise!
With painstaking difficulty I went through the process of a Nexus card. It's an excellent card for people who travel for it is a next level security pre-screen and has the shorter line at the border. I passed all the suckers who only had passports and came up to the line up with only one car in front of me. I started mentally calculating the time and all was well if I could make it through here in my usual time. Of course that is not what happened and the person at the wicket took an additional 10 minutes. It was so bad that 5 cars in the other slowpoke lane passed by me as I sat and waited. Finally my turn and I flew out of there to only turn the corner to see a fully loaded semi pull in front of me. DAMMIT!
Road Blocks
My friend from the airport called me and reassured me that all was well with him. There usually is a $100 surcharge for rescheduling the flight but they waved that. Luckily there was only a 2 hour wait until the next flight so he could chat a little longer. After travelling a couple miles at 20 miles an hour the semi finally turned off and I catapulted down the road. Not wanting to waste any time I took a "shortcut" to get on the highway faster. What a joke; it was definitely not a short cut so I tacked on a few more minutes. After arriving on the highway, I called my boss letting her know that I was going to be a little late. I estimated being approximately 15 - 20 minutes late and regretting saying when I saw break lights up on the highway. I just shook my head as I stopped on the interstate. Slowly we inched past the road construction and by the time I got to work I was 45 minutes late. Later that afternoon I asked my boss if I could make up my lost time and the answer was no. Apparently, you can only make up your time on the same day you're late but since I was the last shift of the day that was an impossibility.
Habits Schma-bits.
Ever have a day like that? In the recent past I would have become completely unglued and started driving recklessly. That combined with my temper tantrum, I would have made quite the spectacle. Today that didn't happen and it surprised my friend and he said so. My friend shared with me on how he used to take each obstacle presented and step back so as to welcome the hidden opportunity. Today he noticed that he was slipping back into an old pattern and wondered why that was. We got into the discussion of habits and how they are formed. According to research we are supposed to change a habit after 28 days, and both my friend and I have defied that theory. When I was writing early last year, I wrote for 40 straight days with the prediction that it would create the habit of writing daily; I was wrong. My writing continued on for a few more weeks and then stopped for over two months. Sure there was an article here or there but nothing consistent or habit worthy. What happened?
During the discussion with my friend, the topic of resistance came up. Just like water or electricity, humans seek out paths of the least resistance. If there is something to be done, success is greatly based on the amount of effort it takes. It got me thinking of why my practice of writing daily didn't produce a new habit. The first obstacle that came to mind was what habit was I forming and why? Was I writing because I had this burning desire to share and spend hours creating those articles? Yes and no. As with all new endeavors, I was very excited in the beginning but soon the exuberance started to wear off. Soon it became a drudgery and something that I needed to get done. Why?
It came to me today that the answer was to identify what we are focusing on when we want to change the habit. First off, if you are trying to change something based on the word SHOULD you're pretty well doomed to fail. Should is a word that springs from a judgement and you use this new habit regime in response. Should and the words, I leave room to quit are synonymous. Feel the difference between saying, "I should do this" and "I will do this" and you will see what a decision feels like. So the first step is the decision but that also isn't enough; an assessment is needed of what is easier. When I first made the decision to stop ranting at every change in plans, I noticed how much energy I wasted. Often I would work myself up to a frenzy and come into the scene looking like I was possessed to find out that it wasn't necessary. Lots of times some freak event happened just before I got there that delayed them as well or my miscalculation wasn't noted. Soon it was easier to just relax and trust that it was going to work out despite how hair raising things appeared to be.
What is easier to do: To continue the same madness that creates stress in your life or to start seeing things differently to bring improvement? I focused on how much easier it would be to just approach stressful situations with more faith, poise and objectivity. Victory came on focusing on that for that was what I wanted. Today was a testimony on how much easier it has become.
Today I will look at the struggles in my life and determine what is easier, consistency or change?