I am not feeling sleepy yet, it is maybe I had some coffee this morning which I should have not done. It is because that coffee stimulates the guts because I wanted to use the toilet and I am afraid that I would have a hard time passing my stools.
Anyway right now it is just hot so I decided to turn on the electric fan facing the window and it acts as my exhaust fan so that the heat would not build-up in my room.
But the heat doesn't deter me in going to sleep because maybe I am used to it already. I can still sleep even if it is hot and toasty especially if I am drowsy. The problem now is that I am not drowsy enough and I might get some trouble now trying to rest my weary soul.
Anyway I will just try to sleep and get my needed rest. This is just the compromise that I am experiencing sometimes in being a night owl myself where the only time I got to rest is getting disturbed by some factors beyond my control.
I just wished that the days are longer, I mean the night and day so that I can make use most of it for my advantage and benefits. But time goes fast in my case where it seems that I am just existing and not living.
My life now is just about surviving and preparing for the future. I might say indeed that I am a prepper in a sense that I am trying to earn for the future so that I will not get to be reliant in others because I do not want to trouble anyone with my future and current needs or necessities.
I had already experienced that my Aunt is not picking-up her cellphone because of my father's call asking for financial assistance when I was just starting with my dialysis many years ago. I told myself that if I can be able to support myself I will never ever bother anyone to help me around because of that incident and it is really making me feel bad thinking about it.
That is why I feel happy that at least I can survive without the help of my relatives and even my church all because of the assistance, prayers, and help that I am getting through this platform. I may had lost my relatives but I gain precious friends that God gave me and I am really thankful about it.