I am quite frustrated about what I wanted to eat but wasn't available so due to my anger if that was the right term I just chosen not to eat even though I feel that I needed to eat.
This morning I only had two pieces of bun sandwich with some bacon in it plus an egg. But that was about 14 hours ago plus I had undergone with my dialysis so most of the protein compounds in my blood hasn't been replaced yet.
Now I wanted to eat, it is already past 2:00 AM and my parents are fast asleep already. I couldn't just walk to the kitchen area to fix myself some food so I just have to wait until my mother wakes up.
This is just my life now, being disabled is no joke, wasn't expecting it so I do not know if I am coping but obviously it is hard as ef.
If only I can live alone and not bothering or being bothered by somebody else. I cannot cook anymore, I cannot do the former things, and even my appearance had changed. That is why I am making my former appearance to get immortalized in this blockchain because I envy my face of yesteryears. If only I can touch that face again.
I am a frustration on two useless legs. I feel alone as time goes by, if I would outlive my folks I am really in big trouble or maybe I will get freed and finally drive my own fate and destiny without somebody influencing it anymore or much more barring my plans, goals, and dreams.
I hope that someday I will get freed from hardships and I hate my body from not giving-up, the most hard-headed carnal soul of all time while others are now at peace but as with my own body it keeps on going and going and torturing me in every angle of my miserable existence. May God give his mercy.