Yesterday's dialysis session is just interesting, I had a lot of candy believing that it will make me once gain survive my dialysis. So what happened was that I took one hard menthol candy every about thirty minutes.
The whole duration of the dialysis session was four hours then I drank a serving size of Sprite because it has some "sugar" in it plus my mouth really gets sticky and dry due to the settings had done by my renal nurses where they set to "pump" sodium in my system so that my BP would rise-up.
But I guess that the factor was my Caffeine intake which I am not telling them otherwise they will just not approve with it and forbid me in doing so. But I am desperate to really complete my session because my nurses are just setting-up the blood pump low which is why I could not sleep after my dialysis because of the residual effects of my Caffeine.
Now I do not feel good because I just overdid eating my candy and it made my body to produce so much heat now and I feel like I am having a fever.
So I guess that I will just refuse to eat until the late afternoon so that my body can recover from candy overload. I also tried to eat last night with a few pieces of Dimsum and rice plus Sprite so it just adds-up to the calorie that I am not used to having.
I had thought of eating after dialysis because my body needs some protein to recover the lost protein compound sue to the dialysis process. But I still feel that my dialysis quality is not enough because the blood pump is not as fast as I want it to go. It is just good that at least I am using a high flux dialyzer that has a relatively bigger holes where more toxins would pass through.
If I am using a regular dialyzer then the situation will not be in my health's favor. So even though I would pay extra for me to be able to use that type of high flux dialyzer as it was called, I just have to do it for the sake of my own well-being. I needed to flush more creatinine, potassium, sodium, uric acid, my drug's metabolites, other toxins and of course phosphorus so that i can be able to feel more well in-between my dialysis session days.
Right now I could not sleep and I will just have to ride this away until my Gabapentin would kick-off and allow me to get some restful sleep and maybe shed some of my pains away.
I really feel terrible with my body right now because of the pain as the dialysis washed-away the effect of the NSAID pain reliever that I took yesterday. It is difficult to roll-over to my side and back, I am now over-stimulated, and then I could not sleep.
It makes me feel depressed when I feel the pains in my body, I would just think of death because obviously it is not good to live like this where my future is uncertain and more on the hopeless side, pitiful, and difficult in anyway way I would turn my head to. So I am asking for your prayers and God's mercy because my life is just hell.