Thus afternoon I thought that I would eat a lot because my sister-in-law had told us that she will bring some "Maki", those rolled meat, fake crab meat, some vegetables in rice, kind of like Sushi so I got excited about it.
But their plan didn't came into reality but brought rice noodles, fish fillet, and some meat spring rolls which all of it I didn't enjoy eating maybe because I ate too early than planned or I just woke up from my late sleep.
So I only managed to eat a little and that made me nauseous because I am supposed to take my Cinacalcet and my other medicines and vitamin.
That had lead to me being unable to eat supper which normally I would eat based on what available food that will be served if I happen to like it or not. But my nausea is just terrible enough to make me just skip my meal.
I am just frustrated about my overall situation really. I can never enjoy eating anymore due to the side-effects of my Cinacalcet. That is why I am still targeting to have my parathyroid glands fixed or partially removed (we still needed our parathyroid glands) so that I can finally graduate from ever taking this awful medicine.
But even my Endocrinologist is not approving the idea as well as my mother who is just terrified by the thought of putting myself under surgery while I know for myself that it is not that invasive and patient can also leave the hospital almost the same day.
The only complication was the drop in Calcium level of the patient, that is dangerous and can cause death. It happens when the patient has a really high Parathyroid hormone for a long time and then that hormone will drop causing the body to long for that high Calcium level in the blood.
It is a sort of Calcium withdrawal symptom like the body had gotten addicted to high amounts of calcium and then after the surgery it will drop causing the body to react. It has to be treated though and then gradually the body will recover slowly.
But I am believing that it is all worth it and even if I die because of it then it is still a benefit for me. Either I will die or get a remarkable improvement in my orthopedic condition.
I am afraid about my back, I had seen the x-ray and it doesn't look good because my cervical bone, the bone in the neck is veering to the left in a sharp angle not to mention my lower back behind the lungs, the part that always goes in pain, I can feel it actually right now and I am never really freed from the discomfort that it brings to me.
That is my situation right now, the pain is real it is here and never goes away, the fear is real, I might get paralyzed one day. That is why even though my medicine for it expensive and hard to endure I am still taking it so that at least i will slow down the degeneration process if not to see myself completely healed in which the latter is no clear if it will happen because I am still in a hell lot of discomfort and pain. May God have mercy on my wretched and tortured soul.