It is my aches and pains that are keeping me pinned down here on my bed night and day and because of that I am just terrified to leave my lay-down position because of the fear of toppling down or breaking some bone or two in the process because I had done it before I thought that I can make it going to the bathroom on my own, I was able to go to but from the bathroom feels an agony as my back and knees really had killed me in that instance.
I told myself I will never do it again because it is just a bad idea. My backbone had gone so crooked that it is now giving me the fear of one day it will break and either make me go paralyzed or dead, well I will be thankful if I go dead but being paralyzed will be hard to accept. It is rather be in this situation than being a vegetable and be more of a burden to my family, I hope that God would not allow it to happen.
Anyway my condition nonetheless had improved although I am still in pain especially if I do not use an NSAID painkiller. I just hope that my Cinacalcet and phosphate binder would make my bones slowly heal itself and the pains go away, I am just ready to wait longer if that would be the case, I just want things to improve in that regard than to slowly degrade.
I haven't done any tests again with regards to my iPTH and phosphorus levels because I wanted to know if I was already putting them into normal levels. The last time that I got tested for iPTH was before I got an operation for my Appendix and even though I stopped taking my Cinacalcet prior to the test it showed that I am near the normal level already.
My phosphorus level was in the normal range the last time I got tested with it and maybe it is normal until now because I am continually taking my Phosphate binder plus I am not eating the forbidden foods that could elevate my phosphorus.
So if my iPTH and phosphorus levels are in the normal range then my bones are already in the healing process already. From that point I will do some exercises, maybe trying to walk again to strengthen my joints so that I can go out and go where and when I so please within this house.
Of course I will not be able to walk out again on my own but what I just want is for me to be able to move around the house, maybe cook some food and do some hobbies as these things requires a body that is strong and free from pain. Right now I am very weak, I can't even press a nail cutter for that matter then the problem is compounded by pain in my back and feet which is why I am just always like a vegetable here on my bed 24/7 but as soon as I can see that my bones and joints are in the healing process I will try with God's blessing to try to get back on what I wanted to do. May God help me.