I am guessing that I will arrive for my dialysis quite heavy because I am almost dying trying to take my shower, it is hard to breathe with about 4 Kilos of extra water in my system considering that I have a body of a 127 year old person with deformities and pain all over my body.
I have no choice to again try to have most of the extra water in my body siphoned-out via the dialysis process or I would suffer some backlog of fluids which again will cause breathing problems and because of that it should have to be taken out.
But again I am terrified that my blood pressure would crash out on me so the worry there is coming back to me even though I am trying all desperate measures to make my blood pressure stable and yet I still get the crashes.
That is why I needed some frequent sessions but in the other hand I do not want my parents be bothered because a dialysis process itself is a four-hour affair plus the time and effort in preparing for it is really consuming me in many ways.
That is why despite of that I am trying my best not to go more frequently for my treatment because I have to think about other people other than myself especially the money that I have to spend for that extra visit to my dialysis center which is not cheap by the way.
I hope that I could come up with a way to make my situation easier for me because lots of factors that I have to consider before making a decision which gets complicated because it would cost me something like time, money, and my future situation. I just hope that God would take care of my fate into not getting more tougher for me to handle because I am really fed-out of so many things that I have to think about, all just makes me want to think about evaporating and going to heaven already because it get tiring already, I had been battling over my situation for so many years already which often wants me to give-up but even giving up is hard to do because it will mean a lingering death for sure.
So I guess that I have to keep my patience more and see what I can come-up to and for the mean time I have to keep in control so that I will feel bbetter in-between my dialysis days.