Evening Contemplation of... Anguished English!

I try to be as open-minded and considerate reasonably possible. Really, I do. 

I also try to be mindful of the fact that we are in an international community here, and English is not the first language of many participants on Steemit. 

Actually, that includes myself. My first language is Danish, not English.

Still, I see some examples of "anguished English" around here that suggest much more than someone who's not good at English — they suggest someone simply too lazy to run what they have to say through even a rudimentary translator or grammar checker.

This afternoon I came across a comment including the phrase "We are anguished by the wisdom of your content!" 

And you just have to ask yourself what — if anything — the original intent was.

I must confess, for the record, that I love language itself. And I love the many "blooper reels" that come with language, especially in the writing field.

One of my favorite websites is Engrish.com, which focuses on extremely awkward translations of (mostly) instructions and tourist signage to English, as posted in foreign countries.

Classics such as: "In case of fire, please ejaculate the premises!"

Once upon a time, I actually worked as an online grader of California high school exit exams, grading English papers. Granted, these were the essays of high school seniors, but still... you'd imagine that after four years (at least) of being taught English that they would be able to make at least minimal sense.

And yet? Quite a few things I saw were truly frightening, some were merely funny (these are real examples from my old notes!):

"In 1941 the Japanese bummed Pearl Harbor."

"William Shakespire was born upon Stanford of Avon in 1964."

Sometimes I encountered revisionist history:

"Martin Luther went around the world making so many reformation speeches that he became famous like 'I have a dream' until he was shot and killed but his son Martin Luther King Jr. took his place in helping the slaves become equals."

And then, of course, my all-time favorite religious interpretation:

"From the Bible, it says Jesus is a son of God, who came down from the neaven(sic) and save people from the Sims. As soon as he had a birth from the Mary, he had a respectorations from his cousin John the Baptist's mom Emizabeth and his mental father Joseph and his mother Mary. Also from the three guys from the hut."

Seriously, though, I am not picking on anyone who's learning English here! But language IS... funny!

How about YOU? Do you enjoy some of the funny ways language gets used, by mistake? Have any funny examples you'd like to share? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!

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Created at 180803 00:08 PDT