I remember I shared that my partner and I are LDR on my intoduceyourself post. Since few days from now he will be going abroad again for a 9-month contract, I'd like to share with you guys how we keep the fire burning and the good/bad things about it.
It is true that not all people are successful maintaining a long distance relationship. Contrarily, it seems a glue for the both of us. We're on our 5th year and I'd never thought we'll last this long. So without further ado, let's start.
Advantages
It always feel like the first time.
Ever wondering why holidays feel so good? This is because it rarely happens and you want them more. The same can be applied to us when we finally see each other after the long wait. After being apart for a while, I beg to have that time back when the two of us were bonding and hanging out. The feeling of being together feels better than it normally would. Every time we finally meet up again, it will feel like a honeymoon as the excitement builds up. All the impatience and anxiety built up from not seeing him can really keep the fire lit in the relationship.
True love and appreciation.
We tend to miss and truly appreciate each other. We always tend to take for granted anything that we easily get. Thanks to the annual distance, we always get a chance to really miss our bonding and appreciate everything about us.
Personal space is not an issue
Most relationships have their big row with respect to their own space. This applies to traditional couples who are always together, be it outside or at home. In our case, both of us spend so much time apart that we wanted to be in each others space.
Disadvantages
Proximity
In traditional couples, physical is already given. In our case, every time we miss each other means longer bathing hours in video chat. If the signal is weak, one might doze off.
Time constraints.
Unlike couples who are on the same side of the planet, we battle time zones. One must give up a slumber so we can talk. In most cases, we need to plan our video chat ahead of time and cancel the plans for that day. A bit convenient but these are things we do for love.
How do we stay sturdy?
I can definitely say "commitment" is our bread and butter. You assess "how much do you love your partner?" "what are the things you can sacrifice?" and the like. There is no formula. In us, its just the understanding that we need to be away so we'll have a brighter future for our own family. It is really hard, yes. But once you are already committed, it is somewhat bearable. It will wet your pillows at night during holidays, birthdays and anniversaries, but deep inside you know that it is worth the wait. We just spend more time together when we have chance. By chance means, his whole vacation will be the time we spent catching-up for the holidays, birthdays and anniversaries that we were not able to celebrate together. Creating good memories is the key.
The second part will be "communication". You expressing your wants and needs may sound demanding. But since he loves me, he understands that we need to meet halfway. Things will be compromised as same as how the butterfly's wings fly. Meaning, the both of us need to work it out even if it means sacrificing our comfort zone. We then realized that it pays-off since we grow on our own. We take note of bad things not just to remember them, but to avoid them in the future.
Disclaimer these are personal insights and some aspects might not be the same to other people.