A Sydney man has been forced back into the perverse world of online pornography after his housemates broke up and robbed him of the sounds he used to masturbate to.
Brendan Davis used to get most of his sexual arousal from the sound of his housemates going whole hog, but their relationship has been rocky lately and a split threatens to upset his arrangement.
“I used to be able to hear everything through the wafers of these paper thin walls”
“In some ways it was like having a three way except they didn’t know I was joining. But now things aren’t so good between them and I’m back to online porn like some sort of degenerate”
Brendan also said he was doing his best to get them back together as he considers online pornography perverse and unwholesome.
“I can tell my housemate is upset by the breakup. We all are”
“He doesn’t like being alone and I don’t like porn. It’s dirty and for desperate freaks who can’t get off in normal ways”
“But I’m confident they’ll get back together and I’m really looking forward to their make up sex, it’s always the best kind”
On further investigation The Times found that Brendan still lived at home, and his parents were the only other couple in the house.