I actually planned to make something motivational. But in the end, it turned out like a serious talk I had with myself. Maybe, your feelings were close to mine, who knows?
I had many interests and hobbies in my life. I feel that I have the desire to show something to the world and tried to express it in different ways.
So far, I tried:
-writing
-playing guitar
-video editing
-drawing comics
-photography
Many of this slowly faded away with time. My interest just dropped down and never came back. Sometimes, when you leave something behind, it gives you a room for growth, to experience and try something new. But sometimes, the reasons can be more serious.
You can’t deny, that you are just a human and some deep fears and troubles are hiding underneath you. It can be envy, ego, jelaousy.
I’m sure, many people thought like this:
“I’m not good enough”, “He writes/draws/takes photos better than me”, “I don’t see any progress. I just want to give up”, “If I were rich, I could do that...but I’m not”, “People will laugh at it”.
I know these feelings, and I’m fully aware that they are poisoning my soul.
Let’s look at some of them a little bit closer. I wanted to talk about following ones, which I named:
3 main “isms”
Sometimes, I tend to overanalyze every single small thing. Especially, when it comes to my inner world and what caused it to shake again.
This time, I want to make it simple and short. So,let’s get started.
Perfectionism
I spend a lot of time to make it so perfect! I verify every detail, check for mistakes, add or delete…
And finally, with shaking hands and hope I show my “child” to the world.
And what follows is…
Critisism
Personally, I fear critisism so bad, that I can barely do anything. I write something and never show to anyone.
I know that constructive critisism is what we all need the most. Not only praise and compliments.
And what we fear the most is pure hate.
Emotionalism
I have such a wide range of emotions that it’s sometimes becomes unbearable. I remember this good phrase: “It’s both a cursing and a bliss to feel everything so deeply”.
Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have it in me. It affects almost everything in my life – relationships, studies, health, rational thinking.
But then I remember, that all of these "isms" have a good side.
-With critisism, I learn how do become better myself.
-With perfectionism, I imply, that I’m diligent and I don’t want to see my work rushed and incomplete.
-With emotionalism, I can experience a world with not only negative feelings, but also great positive ones. And I enjoy to feel, even if it’s not always sun and rainbows.
It is often said, that you should truly enjoy what are you doing, and it will be paid off.
But it is also important to face your fears, admit them and work with them.
As for me, it was a big step that I even wrote this down and decided to share it with everyone.
Maybe, steemit gives me the opportunity to finally change.
