Just for fun, what if Damon Runyon lived on the left coast instead of the right coast?
This whole predicament comes about when Faces O'Shaughnessy sees Benny the Bug on the Rex. Now, Faces has this special kind of talent for rememberin' people he sees, and he's seen all the unreputable mugs out here on the west coast who is known for causin' trouble. You might say Faces is like a walkin' mug book.
That's why my boss, Tony the Hat, has Faces hangin' out on the Rex all the time, 'cuz the boss runs a strictly legit operation and he don't want nobody makin' trouble that might louse up the action. Ya see, the boss figured out this swell racket where he anchors this big old boat, the Rex, outside the three-mile limit where the cops can't touch him and sets up a gambling casino.
The suckers come out to the Rex on these little boats they call water taxis so they can play the games, and Tony does it up brown for 'em with a ritzy restaurant, nothin' but top-shelf booze in the bars, and all the stuff that makes the high-rollers think they're really livin' it up while they're droppin' bundles at the tables. Like I said, it's a swell racket.
So anyways, Faces sees Benny the Bug on the Rex, and he sez to himself, he sez, "What is this mug from the Dago outfit doin' on our turf?"
He sez that 'cuz Benny the Bug works for Big Al Franco, the top guy in the San Diego outfit. Now, Big Al ain't exactly no competition for Tony the Hat 'cuz our operation is strictly legit and Big Al, he works the shady side of the street—pony parlors, gals, and all like that. Even so, the boss don't want mugs like Benny hangin' around the Rex 'cuz it's bad for business. The suckers don't like associatin' with low-brows like Benny.
Knowin' how the boss feels about such things, Faces goes and tells the boss he seen Benny the Bug and the boss sends for me. The boss does that 'cuz I'm his fix-it guy, meanin' that whenever there's anything goin' on the boss don't like, he tells me to fix it. Now, not meanin' to brag or nothin', but I'm pretty good at what I do and the boss knows he can count on me to make it right—whatever it is that needs fixin'.
So I hot-foot it down to the boss's office on the Rex and he sez, "Faces tells me there is a mug from the San Diego outfit on the Rex tonight—some jamoke who is called Benny the Bug. You know of this fellow?"
I sez, "Yeah, I seen him around here and there—funny little guy, always crackin' jokes. Sharp dresser, too. Benny is what ya call an all-purpose hitter—he does whatever there is that needs doin'."
"Well," sez the boss, "I want you should find out what he is doin' on the Rex, and if you figure he is up to no good, make sure he does not come back."
"Okay, boss, consider it done."
"But do not do it here on the boat in case he makes a fuss. Follow him back to the dock and explain things to him there. Understand?"
"Sure thing, boss."
To Be Continued
This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Rex photograph source: In the public domain