Personal Journal:
"Life out the window during sleepless nights. Something awakens me constantly through out these past few nights and I am not sure what it is. Today I reached somewhere, somewhere I always wanted to be. I saw it in my mind and never knew where it was or if it even existed. The beauty in reality is it being true. True to existence and yet I never thought I would feel so sad. I’m unsure if sadness even means that you are unhappy. It’s not as if I was. Maybe sadness is letting go – go of something you held so tight and realized there was no need to. Holding on so tight is what made it die; it’s like holding a small creature in your arms an unwillingness to let go, the tighter the grip and suddenly it’s gone. I don’t know what else to say other than it hurts to be at this point of realization and it hurts to be happy that the grasp one had on you is gone. But I can breathe, and right now I’m gasping to breathe in. Still seeing the existence of what I held so dear being the only one to envision it. And as I say to myself I’ll take in what darkness has come, for I only see the potential to turn it into light. These moments have gifted me something no one can understand."