CONVICTION AND THE CHOICE OF MARRIAGE PARTNER
Conviction is very important if you really desire to lay a solid foundation for a bliss marriage.
Listed below are principle laid down for the examination of your conviction before venturing into a life long journey of marriage.
CONVICTIONS CHECK-LIST
God’s leading. Are you sure God is leading you into this relationship? Are you sure God is involved? Don't embark on a relationship God doesn't support. Don't let your emotions, age or parental pressure lead you into marriage, rather surrender to divine leading.
Conversion. Are you sure this person is a child of God? I hope you are not deceiving yourself? You have no business as a child of God to marry an unbeliever.
Love. Are you in love? Is the guy really in love with you? Is the love genuine? Is the foundation right? Can the love stand the test of time? It is highly risky to marry who you don't love or who doesn't love you.
Character. Is the person of a good character? Can you live with his/her character? Hope you are not thinking he or she will change for the better (Many people don’t change for the better in marriage). In fact, they do grow worse, so don’t deceive yourself. Character describes what you will experience in marriage.
Trust. Do you trust him or her? Is he or she honest, truthful and faithful?
Observation. Have you observed his or her enough to take a firm decision?
Knowledge. Do you really know him or her? Do you have all the necessary information? Are you comfortable with all the information you have about him or her.
Time. Have your spent enough time together to truly know him or her. Is the courtship long enough? Hope you are not to in a hurry? (Note that if you GET MARRIED LIKE A LIGHTING, YOU MAY END UP WITH A THUNDER).
Friendship. Are you friends? Do you connect like friends? Do you play like friends? Do you forgive each other like friends? Do you cooperate like friends? Do you talk like friends?
Agreement. Have you agreed on all necessary issues? Have you agreed on the church to attend, where to live, number of children, health, in-laws, etc.
Medical. Do you know his/her health history? What is your genotype? What is his or her own? (You know AS cannot marry AS or SS) Hope you are not deceiving yourself about health matters?
Prayer. Have you prayed enough? Are you really sure?
Counsel. Have you gotten enough counsel? Is the counsel from the right source? Do you even have a marriage counselor guiding you through your courtship?
Training. Have you attended pre-marital counseling? How many books have you read? How many seminars have you attended? How much do you know about communication in marriage, adjustment in marriage, conflict management in marriage, forgiveness, child rearing and bearing, etc.
Conflict management. Have you ever fought? If you have been together for more than 6 months and you have never had a misunderstanding, both or one of you is a pretender. Be yourself, be real, let him or her know who you are. Discard the mask. Have you learnt how to forgive each other? Have you learnt how to settle your disputes without calling a third party? Have you been able to deal with anger and stubbornness?
Don’t ever go into that marriage if you still have your doubts. Don’t be afraid of what people will do. It is your life and your destiny, don’t joke with it