I DECIDED TO GIVE YOU A SNEAK PEEK OF A NOVEL I WROTE. AS ITS ORIGINAL LANGUAGE IS IN GERMAN THE MESSAGE MIGHT DIFFERS. I WOULD LOVE TO GET SOME COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK.
I strolled through the supermarket. My empty shopping cart and I reviewed shelf for shelf and product for product. I did not know exactly what I wanted to buy. I warbled inwardly to the music of my music player. I pushed the shopping cart back and forth, almost rhythmically getting my jive. Only the fruit bar could stop me. I focused the red-marked price tag for coconuts. They were on sale! A coconut for two Dollars? A whole coconut? So cheap, almost free of charge. Well, of course, I could not resist. Quickly, I urged through the mass of wild customers who also focused on the coconut price tag. I grabbed my shopping cart and made it through. Finally! I finally arrived. I grabbed a beautiful brown coconut. Suddenly, someone tapped on my shoulder. I cringed. It felt like a cold shiver through my whole body; from top to the bottom into my toes.
"Well, did you really forget to call me?", said a voice. A very, very angry voice. I turned around and saw Jamie directly in the eyes.
"Jamie! Do you know how much you scared me? What is this?", I replied with a loud voice.
"Be quiet. Why did I scare you? Are you so off that you don’t recognize your surroundings? I have already screamed your name a couple of minutes ago. And you looked my directly in the eyes", said me Jamie still with a very, very angry voice. I wanted to grin. But I tried to hide it, because I knew it would make her really angry. More angry. I knew I was quiet absent. But, excuse me? I am sure not crazy.
"Why should I have forgotten to call you?", I added. I thought about it and tried to remind me when I was supposed to call Jamie. I didn’t recall. I wanted to call her? Did I forget about that? Or was she just wrong? I just didn’t know.
"Yes!!! You wanted to call me yesterday, remember? After you met Helen. We wanted to have dinner together. But you never called or showed."
Suddenly, another shiver ran through my body. I did actually forget to call Jamie yesterday. And yes I totally forgot about our dinner plans. I felt insanely guilty, especially because I spent the evening with Mark and Sophie. But also, I didn’t want to tell her. Would I have to tell her?
"Why didn’t you call me, Jill? I am very interested in your excuse!!!" Jamie was still very mad. I knew that she would not give up until I tell her. In fact, she demanded an adequate response. I thought. Well, there was no escape. I wanted to run away but I couldn’t. There was no escape thanks to the coconut lovers who barred my way out of this drama. I could not admit that I forgot about my best friend. But I had no choice. I had to tell her that I forgot about her. I already knew her reaction. She will be angry as hell. And I also knew it wouldn’t make any sense trying to explain to her why I forgot about our dinner plans. Well, why did I forget? For me there was only one explanation: the encounter with Emily. I did not realize how much it affected me. But I knew one thing for sure, it hit me so much that it brought an avalanche of thoughts rolling. I simply forgot my surroundings.
"Well, I don’t know how to explain, Jamie. I am truly sorry. I am currently not totally me. But I guess you noticed that already", I replied very slowly and calm.
I observed Jamie’s reaction. Yes, I waited for her to yell at me. Her face was still rigid. She gave me the sharp eye. It seemed like it wanted me to bite, sting or prick. I could see that she wasn’t satisfied at all. She probably felt being treated wrongly.
I turned away, only for a short moment, and focused the coconut. I had the feeling it was no longer fresh and it didn’t look so brown-brushed anymore. The coconut was dark and its small hairs stood on. Was it just my perception or did the coconut misprized me? I turned back to Jamie. She still stared at me. She stood with her hands on her hips and gave me the sharp eye…still. I knew, now the lecture would begin. I knew Jamie, she always took her time to express her bad mood or dissatisfaction. Even it was only through meaningful facial expressions or nice gestures that signalized me that she is ready for a fight. I knew she felt neglected, she always did. But I could not blame her this time.
"You are not totally yourself? Are you serious? Well, or did you just had dinner plans with somebody else? You can tell me that, honestly. I wouldn’t be angry". I could hear her cynical tone already from the first word on that came out of her mouth. I looked to the right and to the left. It really interested me how many coconut lovers would enjoy an upcoming drama. I knew that no matter what I say, neither would she understand nor be satisfied. I felt useless, but always when I fought with Jamie. But what should I say? I even didn’t exactly know why I am so distracted. I knew that my thoughts shingle around my head, upside down. I felt a great interest to leave the supermarket. But that would be the last thing that would improve the situation. So I stayed. I lowered my gaze and shrugged.
"Are you serious?"
I did not reply. I lifted up my head and looked her directly in the eyes. Her eyes were still sharp and immersive. I had the impression that she and the coconut planned some sort of plot or conspiracy against me. Jamie and coconuts? I suddenly began to grin. Coconuts and Jamie. An image I could not forget. I knew how much she hated coconuts. My grin got more intense. I couldn’t control it anymore. I was ashamed at the same time.
"What is so funny? I think this, Jill, this is not funny!", said Jamie.
"I also think it’s not funny. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I grin. This has nothing to do with you. Really!"
I tried as authentic as possible that this has nothing to do with her. However, this experiment failed miserably.
I knew Jamie is not from yesterday. I thought that she might understand what happened. But even before I had the opportunity to finally tell her and maybe also to grab some drinks to talk, she turned around and walked away. She did not say a word. I felt it was pretty evil from me. I watched her leaving the supermarket and turned back to the coconut. It was clear to me that I have one more problem to solve now. I grabbed the coconut, took it out of my shopping cart and put it back. I decided to leave the shopping cart behind. I left the supermarket. I did no longer warble inwardly the music of my music player.