I am sitting here, in nothingness. The whole universe flows through me. Memories, events. Life. It is hard to grasp a concept when you have never experienced it. I do not remember how I got here but my purpose was always clear. I saw them all, each and every creature, through the wheel of time. I had to be here and watch and I enjoyed it. I knew what was happening in each and every place at any given moment, I was connected to a silent network. And yet...
I wondered still where I had come from. I was not born or made, I was just me, here. Floating in the light of darknesses. It was peaceful and enlightening, always. The wheel had only one emotion. At first, I did not understand why creatures did what they did but with time it got clear. Still, there are so many, all different, with minds on their own. There are the ones that call themselves gods, the others that act like they are the emperors of everything. Ones that live in harmony, with each and every existing thing and then, the ones that torture themselves all of their tiny lives.
All so insignificant, all searching for answers. And even though I was bigger and stronger, I looked at them and all I could see was lonely souls. They were just like me, forever with questions. No matter how harmonically they lived, each species needed answers. And I may have known them, where they came from, who made them. At least for some, I had seen the beginnings. But it did not change the fact that I had the same inquiries. Where did I come from? How did I begin my existence? Was I the only one like me?
I could not move, I had no need to do so. I stood there, hanging in the vast universe. I saw others, similar but... different, far in the distance. I could not hear them as they could not speak to me. Are we all together in loneliness or are we lonely in togetherness? Questions. More of them each and every period.
So many inquiries. Too little answers. No matter how much I learned from them, my questions just grew. But I was not sure I even wanted to know. I mean, look at me. Guarding real memories, real knowledge of those tiny beings. I am in the middle, that much I know. In the middle of my own existence, honored to carry the living.
The travelers come and go. What the tiny ones call Mars, thrives while Earth struggles. What was it that distinguished who would succeed? Was it truly just the help of outsiders and blood mixing? They call themselves humans but most of them are not, no more. It has been years since the last pure human found love with a visitor. They are my children, in a sense, they fear me.
I will die, I know that. One day. But I have seen it all and I will go happy. After all, they will have found a new home by then and loneliness is not something that I am looking for. I will go when they go. If they decide to leave because I am curious to see where my hot soul will go the day after.
But for now, I am sitting here, in nothingness. The universe flows through me. I am it and it is me. I see and I feel, I live and I cry. I am in love with this bright darkness cooling my raging flames. I look, I never yell. It hurts life when I lose my temper, but sometimes they need a stern warning for they forget. All life is precious, every rock floating in my Universe. We are one and we will never be more.
I have been busy. I am still recharging. I will probably not be writing that often. I am not good enough for that, yet. Plus, I want to move forward instead of staying the same. I want to improve and for that, I need to heal my tired mind.
I wish you the best day, week and life. And I will be seeing you soon.
Always with love,
Linda