This is the continuation of the story I'm creating entitled "Live Confession..." links to previous sections located above...
...section 4...
I first tried ecstacy about halfway through my 17th revolution... It was after some catastrophic event or another involving terrorism and conspiracies...
I had gathered with a group of friends and we went driving along some highway or another, stopping every so often to light tea lights on the side of the highway. It was for some big patriotism thing, where everyone was showing their solidarity by holding a sort of nationwide candlelight vigil for the loss of life that had occurred earlier that week...
Despite the reasons for gathering, it was truly an amazing experience. It was one of the first times I ever experienced the feeling of a communal energy built from a cohesive effort of positive, wonderful thoughts and intentions from a mass of countless individuals... After that, I didn't use ecstasy again until after my 19th revolution...
I grew quite fond of it after the 2nd or 3rd use, but based on observing how it made most of the people who used it regularly into brain-dead zombies, I knew that too much of it was a terrible idea.
I used it sporadically, when it was easy to obtain, mostly. Each experience added a new layer of understanding to my overall being...
I was able to deeply connect with people in ways I could barely comprehend. It was truly magnificent. It felt almost like to use it gave me the ability to manipulate raw emotion; and not only my own, but the emotions of any beings around me as well...
With the cycles of madness that kept going round and round in life, I enjoyed feeling these extreme emotions and this pseudo-control over it. I eventually tired though, and decided that I needed to try sobriety if I ever hoped to regain some normality...
Unfortunately, the sobriety did not help and actually intensified the experiences. As I lived day by day, trying to keep my sanity, I tried my best to continue to function in society as best I could. I would still try to gauge from those around me of what was going on, but having conversations became more and more cumbersome. Everything seemed to be repeated twice in my mind; first as a thought, then a second time as I actually formed the words I would use to communicate.
As far as feedback, I would get something akin to tenitis, or ringing of the ears, whenever I would suspect others were thinking about me. This had been happening somewhat sporadically from a very early age, but it really started to kick in after my 30th. As the occurences began happening more frequently, I attempted to verify my hypothesis, that I could tell when others were thinking of me, from time to time... but I doubt that everyone I was asking was being honest. It would usually happen after some heated exchange or another; so to ask someone if "you were just thinking of me?" after a heated argument and then some silence, usually ended in an insult or a lie or even both.
So all of this craziness is going on and I'm just trying to get by, being sober. I can't really take it so I go back to Marijuana, but just at the same time I happen to come across this ecstasy pill, almost like a gift...
It was pink in color and triangular in shape and had some sort of stamp on both sides. I can't quite remember what the stamp was of, but it was also very thick, maybe 2/3 as much as one of the sides of the triangle. It also had some shiny green flakes throughout the integrity of it's structure...
It was similar to the scale-like effect you find in good cocaine, only with a pearlescent green hue to the scales. I knew this because I crushed up about a third of the pill into powder; ingesting about half of that third (1/6) orally and snorting the rest of the third.
Wow! All I can say is wow about this one... I took it the night of May 21st into the morning of the 22nd, after the beginning of my 33rd revolution... It was completely mind boggling. I never felt so connected in my life. I experienced intense visuals and audio "hallucinations"...
The colors in everything seemed intensely vivid and bright, like a painting. Sounds were enhanced making all ambient noise almost visible. It was all so amazing. And the feeling of connectedness...
I mentioned earlier how I thought others sometimes knew my thoughts... on this pill, it felt extraordinary! I felt like I could actually speak with my eyes, with the words being created with my thoughts...
I actually began hearing voices as well, in addition to being able to broadcast...
It was truly astounding! When alone, I would allow my mind to wander, and began to notice other beings that I could communicate with...
I began to experiment, and focus on seeking out specific individuals; and to my surprise, felt as though I would be connected to them. Not everyone I attempted to seek out was available though; I looked for Einstein and Tesla and even Hitler and wasn't able to connect to them. And yes this ability seemed to transcend time and space, as I visited with Louis Armstrong before some weird coincidence with Pandora or YouTube occurred...
It was really insane! I even thought I heard Trump and Putin and even Oprah...
Most of the things I would hear were reactions like Wow! and Woah! or things like It's Jesus!
I'm not sure where the religion thing came from, but it hit me hard...
...to be continued...
GIFs courtesy of giphy.com...
Marijuana courtesy of mother earth...
Ecstasy courtesy of modern medicine...
As always, Peace...