Hi steemians, I haven't posted in a while and today I got the motivation to write this. Actually, I've been trying to get over someone I really cared about cause what we shared had come to an end and now that I've moved on I'd love to share tips on how I was able to. Remember that no matter how long or short the relationship lasted, getting over it is never actually easy especially if you still love the person.
1. Accepting the end: accepting the end of the relationship helps you get rid of the fantasies of getting back with the person and helps you see the relationship for what it really was. This prepares you for other healing processes.
2. Cutting off contact: this is very important to do especially if it wasn't a mutual breakup. You don't need to be friends with them until you've healed completely as this will not let you get the closure you need and will make you misinterpret any form of kindness from them. Avoid stalking them on social media or drunk texting them too.
3. Talk to someone: you can talk to someone you trust or someone who will understand you.This could be a friend, family member or a counsellor. Talking about it helps to let go the anger and pain bottled you've bottled inside.
4. Make peace with the past: it hurts when someone you love or one who claims to love you treats you poorly or does something that betrays your trust in them, it actually hurts more when you realise it was just a game to them but accepting that loving them wasn't wrong and there was nothing you could have done to control their action will actually help you break free from the chain of regret and bitterness.
5. Forgive: this is very hard yet also very important. Usually after being hurt we seek revenge in order to make them feel the pain they caused us especially when they show no remorse for their actions. Trying to revenge will only leave you more depleted and even more, filled with regret but in forgiving, you'll find out that it is yourself you liberate and hate was rather a huge burden to carry.
6. Don't rush into another relationship: it is advised to not go into another relationship until after a year. This helps you gain full emotional balance and a better view of what you'll accept in your next relationship.
7. Work on yourself: channel your pains into energy and build yourself back up. Redeem your self esteem, confidence and become a better person than you were.
8. Invest in yourself: make time for yourself, family and friends. Create new goals, go on a vacation, go shopping, have some fun, take care of your looks, work on your career and your relationship with God.
9. Understand that there is nothing wrong with you: After we get rejected or ill treated, it's quite normal to start feeling unlovable or not good enough but this is not true. When someone treats you badly for loving them, it actually just refeflects poorly on them and not you.
10. Remember there is someone out there for you: With time, you'll surely meet the right person who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. For the moment, work on becoming a better version of yourself and don't forget that we are complete by ourself and not by our relationship.