Wednesday 31st May - The Diary of A Modern Man.
"It was not the power to be tranquil which had failed me, but the reason for tranquillity was no more."
- A quote from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.
I feel this sums up my current predicament perfectly. It is my belief that I will always have 'player' tendencies, but it is my hope that I will one day find a girl who inspires in me the need to resist these tendencies. There have always been girls in my life who have, to varying degrees of success, motivated me to cast away these urges; however, the motivation usually faded pretty quickly.
Sadly, Amber is a great example of this. Whilst I was able to see her regularly, and for a few weeks after I last saw her, she unwittingly inspired me to be a better person, however, as time moves on the thought of her holds less sway over my inclination to resist any 'player-like' tendencies.
For as the Bronte quote suggests it is not the power to resist these tendencies that I currently lack, but rather the reason for resistance.
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