When it comes to certain situation that elicit the deepest fear in yourself, what will you do? They say that 89% of people tells a lie within the first three minutes of meeting a stranger in order to impress or to get away from the conversation itself. But the thing is, I myself do not know if I can trust these “They”.
Growing up, I have always been quiet in the independent side of life where I would spend most of time alone at home right after school hours with my brother, Matthew. I guess I was deeply affected by the divorce of my parents at such a young age and I was contemplating whether or not I was digesting the whole concept well enough of my parents were not together anymore and that me and my brother had to go through moving from one home to another every holiday season. You see, the thing is, I knew what happened and I was very sure, I knew it well. The reason for their divorce and why they were not in love anymore, or how the children themselves was not enough of a reason for them to stay. But they refused to keep the transparency between me and my brother, Matthew.
I saw them fighting in the living room, almost every day, and the next minute they told me they were just fine although I can see in their eyes that they were not at all. They told me lies that my ten-year-old self could not help but believe. The thing about lie was that, it was never good. No matter how safe you tried to keep it, it will eventually escape. I hated the fact that my parents lied to me and Matthew. They gave me false hope and reassurances. From there, I grew up from a weak and fake foundation that somehow will never let me go further from the life I was living at that moment. Right after my parent’s divorced, I hardly spoke to anyone and rejected the idea of meeting people because meeting people means trusting them. So, I went living alone for quiet some time until I was 24 years old and had a family of my own.
To my surprise, I went to a divorce myself and could not help but did the same thing to my three children. I lied. I knew it was so messed up. The thing I used to hate the most growing up, and a decade later, I was doing it to my own children. I got stuck with wanting to let them know the reality of life and trying to keep them “safe” as much as possible. However, I decided to just tell them. Face to face. To my surprise, my children were very accepting and we had a mutual understanding about the subject, despite them being so young at that time. I believe the eldest of mine was only 12.
From there, I learn that I cannot nurture nor heal in the same environment that hurts me, lie is not the only way out in many cases, and for sure that is something that I want my children to grow up and believe in.
Liar, Liar : Make up a poem or story of complete lies about yourself or someone else.