Disclaimer: This story was inspired by Sam Smith's album In the Lonely Hour. The title of each chapter comes from the song it was inspired by. It was originally written as fanfiction, but I switched up the names and such of the characters. I don't own any rights to Sam Smith or his album. The story contains adultery and LGBT themes. Some chapters will contain NSFW material. I'll mark the chapters appropriately. Let me know what you think!
Chapter One - Not the Only One
Chapter Two - Make it to Me
Chapter Three - Latch
Chapter Four - La La La
Chapter Five - Nirvana (NSFW)
Chapter Six - Stay with Me (NSFW)
I've Told You Now
That one night together turned into nights, then weeks. A month had gone by and Daena had been content to let Alex do his own thing while she did hers. It wasn’t right. She knew she was avoiding the problem and most likely only making things worse for everyone involved. However, all the warnings going off in her head, weren’t enough to keep her out of Julia’s bed.
She was so conflicted. Being with Julia was amazing. She made her feel alive again. The way she used to feel when she had first met Alexander. It felt so good, but it concerned her. She wondered if this is how he felt with his mistress. If it was, did that mean they have truly grown apart or that they needed to try harder to get that spark back? Whenever the thoughts consumed and overwhelmed her, she went to the one person that could make all her worries disappear.
Julia... Julia was not complaining about Daena coming to her. She couldn’t get enough of the beautiful brunette. Aside from the tiny reminders of Daena’s situation, this past month had been perfect. Their rendezvouses had happened multiple times a week. They had been all over her home, Daena’s office, and even once at the bar, when Daena showed up wearing a dress that drove Julia completely insane.
The time they spent together wasn’t all sex either. They had talked, cuddled, cooked together. Julia couldn’t help but want to know everything about Daena and it seemed like Daena was truly wanting to know more about her as well. When she was with Daena, it was like only they existed. There was no marriage, no Alex. Just the two of them and their bun in the oven. It never failed, however, that when Daena left, she was quickly brought back to the reality of things and it was starting to eat her up inside.
“How are things at home?” Julia inquired. It was a Sunday morning and Daena had stayed over. Daena sighed softly.
“Same as always. Most days we avoid each other at all cost. When we must be around each other... It’s just silence.” She explained as she started my make a pot of coffee. She was walking around the kitchen in one of Julia’s large shirts and nothing else.
“So, you still haven’t told him?” Julia asked.
“No. I haven’t found the right time.” She answered, her eyes focused on the floor.
“It’s never gonna be the right time, Daena. You’re gonna have to tell him soon. You’ll be showing before long and then there will be no hiding it.” Julia tried to stress the importance without sounding pushy.
“I know... I know that, but I can’t. Not right now.” she had moved to fix two cups of coffee.
“Why not now?” Julia didn’t see a point it waiting any longer.
“What is with all the questions? Why does it matter? I’m fine with the way things are right now and I’m not in a hurry to change it.” Daena tried to remain calm. Julia notice this and moved towards her, stroking her fingers through dark hair. She really didn’t want to get the older woman too worked up, but she needed to say this.
“It’s good that you are okay with things. It really is. But... This isn’t just about you, Daena. Not anymore. I know, I said ‘whatever you want’, but that was a month ago. You’re married and he is the father of that child. He deserves to know! I deserve....” Julia shook her head and moved away from the brunette. “He has the right to know, preferably sooner rather than later before shit gets even more complicated.” She finished, managing to bring her voice back down.
Daena was somewhat shocked by the blonde’s outburst and sudden interested in her marriage. She knew this wasn’t just about Alex and she wanted to know exactly what was going on in Julia’s pretty little head.
“You deserve what?” She pressed.
“Nothing.” she sat at the counter and stared into her coffee. “I just want you to be happy.” her voice was oddly mixed with sadness and sincerity.
“And what about you?” Daena asked. It would be a lie to say she hadn’t considered Julia throughout all of this. It was one of the main reasons she wasn’t ready to tell Alex. She wasn’t ready to risk losing Julia. But she never really thought of Julia falling in love with her. The blonde hid those emotions well.
“What about me? I would carry the weight of the entire world, if it meant you were happy.” Julia chuckled. “God, I knew... I knew I wouldn’t be able to control it, but I kept going anyway...” she trailed off.
Daena was at a loss for words. She had been so content with ignoring all the serious emotions battling within her. She was so focused on what she needed during their time together that she never even allowed herself to see any signs. She could take care of herself. When the time came for her and Julia to part ways, she would be able to bury her feelings for the blonde and move on.
She had never planned on telling Julia how she felt. She never planned to tell the blonde how easy it would be to fall in love with her. She still had to work things through with her husband and she would never intentionally put those hopes in Julia’s head. So, she had stuck to what she thought was there unspoken agreement, that this...
“This was only sex.” She spoke out loud, trying to convince herself more than anything else.
“Yea...” Julia nodded sadly. “But we have spent the past month, fucking, cuddling, sharing secrets, talking about everything from childhood memories to baby names. It’s like we had our own little world and none of the other bullshit existed. Honestly, how did you expect me not to fall you, Daena.” she paused and took in the many emotions traveling across the brunette’s face. Heaven knows Julia was freaking out on the inside. She closed her eyes for a moment to calm herself.
“Just...tell him...please. Because if this...” She gestured between the two of them “has to end...” She shook her head again. “I fall deeper in love with you, every day. If we have to end... I would rather deal with the pain now, before it becomes unbearable.” She finished quietly.
Daena couldn’t say anything. She just stood there staring at Julia and wondered how everything was so good last night and now they were here. She wanted to go to Julia and embrace her, hold her and tell her how everything could be fine. Tell her how she was falling in love with her too. She couldn’t though. She couldn’t because she knew that if Alex wanted to work things out, that she would chose him.
After a few minutes of intense silence, she figured it out. She figured out what Julia deserved and that was to know whether she had a chance, to not be dragged along only for it to end in heart break. So, she decided to give Julia what she wanted. Daena reached over and grabbed her phone off the counter. She quickly dialed a number and moved the phone to her ear. She knew he would answer. When they fight, they only call each other when it’s something important.
“Daena? Is everything okay?” Alexander spoke with some concern.
“Yes.” She looked up and locked eyes with Julia. “Alex, I’m pregnant.”
What the hell
Why do you think I come round here on my free will
Wasting all my precious time
Oh, the truth spills out
And oh I, I’ve told you now
- Sam Smith