Th3 D@rk N1ght 0f Th3 S0ul
I wouldn't necessarily say this was the first, or the last, rough transformation that I have been through. It is never easy to go through and work on ones inner demons and shortcomings.
Essentially, an identity crisis. Who am I?
Remembering my true nature, of a skilled and wise cosmic being who has infinite potential;
or sticking to the narrative that I'm just a regular plain jane of average intelligence who just really wants to do something good for the world without the slightest clue on how to do that.
Am I a small, frightened youth who doesn't know where she is and what she wants and how to act?
Or am I an adult with her shit together and a plan in action taking on the world by storm.
From the inside, I can never tell who is winning this raging battle, but from loving supportive friends and family, I hear good things.
Either way,
I had plunged into darkness for a moment there, like the rug had been drug out from underneath me, but I was happy to hit the floor and had my eyes towards the trinity in heaven all the while.
Sometimes you must walk through the abyss to reconnect with the spirit within you and around you. In the void, the light was born.
Pragmatics of Being Alive
The purpose of Philosophy at its core is to question the meaning of things. I do not believe that philosophy is a blasphemy to anything, for it is in our nature to ask questions, formulate thoughts, and to apply them to the natural world.
The pragmatic solution to addressing the current problems in our world is to address how the world is run - it is run on thought.
So, the problem is in where, what, who, when, how, why we think and were taught to think. We must revolutionize our minds.
It goes much much deeper than an out of date philosophy; but we need to open the door to a new age of philosophy and theology and all the ologies and the allegories and whatever else we can think up.
Why put a limit on God's good graces? Practically speaking, to embrace the ceaseless number of solutions to the worlds problems is the only way to begin solving them.
Simply put, the only pragmatic solution is to leave no stone unturned, even if it goes outside what you have been taught to believe, and this is an across the board situation. You'll be surprised what you find when you start living life without mental blockades.
Flu1d Th0ught and T1m3 Tr@v3l P@r@d1gms
I hadn't spoken with my higher self in a while, choosing to rely on God and the collective, to leave my ego behind.
Just the other evening, when pontificating the troubles that may lie ahead, in a moment of weakness, and needing the guidance of something so personal, I wanted to reach out.
I began to cry.
I realized that somewhere in a time far away from here, another version of myself was completed and fulfilled. She was happy, away from pain.
She was different than me, for she had already experienced the struggles I am soon to face, but she has come out on the other side, and found peace.
I think I caught her mind when she was walking through a very nice dining room, in a house that felt like home, filled with love.
Something stopped her walking in her tracks; a smell, a train of thought, some quantum entanglement, or maybe prayers can just be heard through time and space among members of all who exist in the collective and their multiple dimensions.
I didn't want to bother her, realizing that in asking for her help, I had brought up the created memory into her mind.
Needless to say, She cried, I cried, and we shared a moment through time and space as two pieces of one whole consciousness, with flashes of memory or possibility somewhere in-between. But, in the way of healing, I knew that I may need her strength and assurance that it would indeed be okay.
I begged her, (knowing myself and how I would want to push back remembering these hard times, feeling the connection dwindling as she tried to shut me out, like a window closing in my soul) and I called out to her, "I know that things are good there, and that you made it through. But I'm not there yet, and I need you to think about this moment, and I need you to remember saying this. I need you to feel in your soul how much you love yourself. I need you to think about how hard you tried, and how far you came, even when it was nearly impossible, even when it seemed like you didn't have what it took; you did it.
Please heal. And know that me, here in the now, that doesn't know what you know, she's ready. She's willing. She's so excited to be you. But she's okay today, being here. As long as you're there, and everything is okay.
Do me one last favor? Look around and appreciate everything extra long today. Hug everyone with a little more gusto. Because I never want you to forget what you had to go through to get there, and what it meant to you."
I felt her agreement through the paradigm.
The trail left for us
So, When pondering the greater themes of the universe, I came to lots of overlapping histories, ideas, models, and theories. They all seem to fit together to paint one rather large picture.
Some people want to cut and clip parts of humanity out and say that one part is more important than another. I chose to take the filter off, and uncovered a never ending web of meticulously connected and well planned coincidences.
I've come to know through pragmatic application, every single second of every single moment is overseen by a mystic force that drives us all. That no thought is original, and that we are imprints of all of those that came before and all of those that came after us, and all that we choose to do here in the now.
We plant trees for shade that we will never sit in.
R3cl@1m1ng My P0w3r
There's this anomaly in morality where you are not to seek reward, but also not to deny yourself reward. It is a thin line of balancing wants vs. needs, and the self vs. others.
So, to be humble or to be self-depreciative, to be confident or to be condescending;
This is an active choice in habit building and discussing the nature of your soul with yourself. Inner work, outer work, just work.
And that isn't to say, "This is a bad thing or a burden" But rather, "This takes an active participation on your part."
It's not easy, reclaiming ones own power. You must set your intentions correct and true and stick to them, you must decide what your power is, why you want it, and how you will use it.
I myself have gone through many metamorphic phases that all answer these questions differently.
As of today, as of this year, as of my "New Year" goals, I would rather it be "New World" goals. I don't really have any personal goals that don't serve the collective in some way.
I desire for new systems that do not oppress my loved ones and the people of earth. I am a proud member of the family of light currently on mission to create just that.
That is a belief I hold at the core of my soul that is not ever going away.
Inverted - Inception - Immaculate - Inflection
Needless to say, my world has been turned upside down.
I have gone through the four seasons of this year, 2020;
but to my mind, feels like a few millennia.
The amount of information and adventure I've managed to fit into one year in comparison to every other year of my life thus far is immense.
Some days, I just want to curl up into a ball and freeze up. Sometimes I do.
I'm not afraid to admit that I'm weak, and in fact that makes me strong.
I allow myself that moment of weakness, like a blade forging in fire, becoming tender in the heat;
then as I rip myself off the floor, groaning and hissing like white hot iron to water, tempering myself for the battles to come.
C0m1ng up F0r @1r - P@rt1c1p@t10n
So, after what seems like a lifetime of battling self doubt, self depreciation, mood imbalance, bad habits, bad temperament, confusion and rebellion; I think I'm finally coming up for air.
I'd done a lot of soul searching, and universe pondering, bumping into this and making mistakes; but I finally got to the healing portion.
After soaking in the proverbial waters and darkness of the womb, I feel a rebirth coming along. Fresh air in the lungs and a cry for life.
The biggest step of healing is knowing you'll never be done healing, because you'll never be done making mistakes, but you'll also never be done growing, and you'll never be done learning, and you'll never be done being yourself.
And the version of me that's out there, that's younger, or older, that's different than me in the now; I give you unconditional love, in whatever shape form or fashion you may appear. Because we are all one; living alongside each other.
So, this post is dedicated to all the other selves that have come to pass and will come to pass, Hannah at age:
-1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,25+
Sometimes I feel as though the young ones know more, sometimes I look to the future, but in the end, the one in charge is the one here in the now. So, I must take the lead.
The Grand Plan; What Even Are Coincidences Odd
This might seem like a strange title, but considering where my brain has been at in the last few weeks, it's a rather funny cosmic joke.
So, first I must state that math and science have been keys in my understanding of the world and of the spirit; not that everyone has to do it in such a way, but I have found that Sacred Geometry and the logical aspects of trying to calculate our universe make much more sense to me.
We do live in a matrix, after all.
Matrices run on algorithms, so in order to find God, I've been on a 6 year long search to find the equation/code that helps with my personal proof and expression of God's Plan/Creation; the numbers that can help us to better understand/organize the world that we live in.
In short, for seemingly like the 50th time, I've hit the same Eureka! point: It goes much deeper than this, but for now I'll just leave the preview.
- The world running on Satan math:
Where nothing lines up and everything is right angles and is sharp
-----> is conductive for illogical nightmare circus activity.
- The world running on God math:
Everything is run on circles and Phi and Fibonacci, the 188 Matrix, Ley Lines, and the Actual energetic grid of our planet.
-------> Everyone is happy, there's a New Age and we excel into an evolutionary leap.
3v3rything th@t I did t0 g3t t0 y0u
You were the last thing I saw coming.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in prayer. I believe it has power.
But did I think that God could hear every silent whisper and every little detail I ever asked for in a companion, and that He might actually find favor on me enough to present such a soul to me in this lifetime or any?
Gonna be honest, no.
Did I get my hopes up every time He sent a pretty smile my way or someone that seemed to fit the bill?
Yes, I did. I'm a woman of faith, after all.
But, road taken after road taken, I ended up in the same destination; alone and wandering the earth in search of the reflection of my love.
And somewhere out there, while I was begging and pleading to a universe for a place to give this good vibration, there was another who was praying for the same thing.
And it is truly beautiful, how you bring these souls together, to dance and share life and to feel it and enhance it for one another.
In you, I have a friend, a teacher, a like mind, a warm conversation and feeling in my heart, an understanding that is unique and true to its nature.
A symbiotic exchange of streams of consciousness with unconditional love.
A rare and wonderful gift I had never considered myself lucky enough to find, until now.
We can, indeed, do anything.
I'm going to write this post bottom to top, because that's how I'm remembering it.
Here we are, at a beautiful leap into a quantum future with friends and joy and ideas and confidence and peace; unbridled positivity and unceasing prayer and meditation.
We can create, think, love, live, laugh; all despite the negative vibrations that the world tries to throw at us. People may say,
"I exist in a world that is full of desolation and disappointment. I project the negativity that I feel into the world onto the good things in my life, because I cannot experience true joy until the world is bright."
But, I say to those people,
"I exist in a world of limitless potential and blessings, which I am grateful for and astounded by every second of every day; even when everything is not perfect and sometimes even quite tragic."
It's certainly not as black and white, or even sepia-toned like the images in this collection. We all go through this struggle internally, as well as with each other.
Up-down-left-right; ever the moral dilemma is the question of, Where do we go from here?
To Infinity and Beyond.
There is nothing that can stop the truth and the light. There is nothing that can stop the healing that is coming. There is nothing that can stop a renaissance of love and curiosity growing for the answers to our soul questions.
It's an age like we've never seen before as a humanity; (Which is generally incorrect as all time is experienced at all times and therefore simultaneously and independently of one another, but you get my drift.)
Here's to transformation. To remaining amorphous. To achieving permeance within permanence. To becoming comfortable with the fluidity of non-linear time. To waking up to Time being a substance, not a measurement.
1.Land
2.Water
3.Air
4.Space
5.Time
The 5th Dimensional Frontier.
Congratulations, Humanity.
We broke free of the Matrix.
God Wins.
We win.
Now is the time to live it.
Chase your wildest dreams.
#FlyFlyFly