** I'm sick of always being angry**, angry at myself most often, angry at the government, angry at people. I made a few really big mistakes in my life that follow me around like a cloud, dampening life into dullness, and making me wish for a time machine. I never get up on time or go to sleep on time, or accomplish half of the things I want to do in a day. When I make dumb mistakes I get filled with a rage directed at myself that is completely unhealthy and even though I know it doesn't do me any good I still let it happen. Over this last week after my latest blunder in life I decided to start making an effort to change this, by trying to stop hating myself when I screw up and instead redirecting all that energy into figuring out what can I do right now to make it better. Whenever I have managed to shift focus from what I should of done to what can I do next, it seems to help me a lot. But it definitely takes a serious conscious effort for me to do this instead of wasting time being angry and regretful. I'm hoping that the more I manage to do this redirection successfully it will become second nature and some of the anger in my life will dissipate. I also am trying to remind myself of all the things I am so grateful for in my life, because it could be so much worse. There are times it's okay to be angry, but being angry at yourself constantly is pointless. My ex-wife says I'm going to be dead in a few years from all the stress I put myself under for no reason at all. Everything usually works itself out in the end and although things might seem bleak from time to time I need to remember that when your at rock bottom there is no where to go but up. Thanks for reading my rambling and have a wonderful day.