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Just the other day I found myself in a very deep discussion with some ladies and gentlemen I just met at a real estate agency, I just couldn't help but listen to them, what got my attention was when I heard one of the men make a comment.
In 2017, a few people applauded a wife who murdered her husband as justification for women, worldwide, suffering domestic violence. If you turn the tables around and one of those typical boys, like a rash, had insisted a woman's murder was justified in some ways... we would throw his really dumb head to the dogs.
At first I thought something critical must have happened recently, but I had to pay close attention to these ladies to see their point of view, because it seemed they were really hammering on on gender and what it is like today.
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This is a comment that really got my attention and I am unable to get it off my mind--
"If you have equal opportunity by acquiring an IT degree, for instance, and you then decide to trade your IT degree for a chance to be married to a carpenter and have five children, then that's your outcome. Even if you did better than the man in school, he used his degree to pursue an IT career and now owns Andela, getting millions of dollars from Mark Zuckerberg - something like that." "Would it be fair for Feminism to badger society over your choice, insisting you deserve just as much? You made your choice - you decided to turn your IT degree to paper plane to amuse your children. And as long as it makes you happy... then what the are you feminism-ing about?"
I just cant believe that people can get so insensitive even at this age and time, not realizing that we are living. This is "life" for heaven sake, there are many factors that affect our lives. Plus in decision making, whose business is it of what a person chooses to do with his or her life.. The woman who got the IT degree may have made a choice to choose, happiness, love and family over being an over-ambitious workaholic that misses out on all the beautiful things life has to offer. People shouldn't be compared really. We all live different lives and we all have various reasons for making the decisions we make.
image credit: Pixabay
They say the idea of feminism is for women to live however they want - housewife, executive, trailblazer, scientist, superstars Presidents whatever they want can and should be achieved. The fact is that the same goes for the men; work hard and get what you want.
It is on this premise that I decided to join in the discussion. As it seems the only narrative for women in the world was to become a "family woman" in the most uninspiring manner. And I am quite sure that this didn't appeal to many people. I suspect, also, it wasn't the dream of many women. But they were too afraid to say this. So we all pretended we loved the heat from the kitchen and the screams from toddlers and getting married to average men.
Even as a children, boy or girl, your parents would ask you; "What would you like to be when you grow up?" and then we would talk about the professions we admire most and aim to be like that. Some may achieve that, some may not because "life" happened, while others may have developed different dreams. So who are we to judge a person' choice of how they choose to live their life.
image credit: Pixabay
Now a lot of people are given a chance at life, getting the kind of life they would want, and left with making delicate decisions that will affect the life they chose. Being a feminist doesn't meant you cannot have a family, live enjoy life being a woman. Its more about being the best woman. Its also about helping other women who are fighting to become something in life are are in a struggle, telling them to hold on and be strong, keep fighting until you have reached your goals.
Even tho we are giving the same equal opportunity, life is what we make make of it by making those decisions that is best for us.