Sometimes life is really hard and you wonder how much you can handle.
Things keeps coming and it feels
like there is no end to it.
Like COMMON!!
BUT THEN...
You wake up and see things from
another angle, realize how far
you have come and what you accomplished so far 😉
That is what happened to me when
I looked back and realized all the
things I been through and how
much I grown since then.
It is especially one part of my life that
was harder than anything I been
through, I was soo blinded that
I thought my life wasn't worth
anything... I was invisble!
So here is my most Personal story,
and I am not sharing this to bring
you down or feel sorry for me.
But Mabye it can help others and Mabye YOU been through things in YOUR life that you NOW look back at and are
thinking... Wow 😳 I was blind.
But I woke up and CHANGED
my life, took my life back!
So here goes...
Awakening came late after many years of abuse
Not physically but mentally
I had this thought of a relationship
that for me meant so much.
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Love and honesty
Sharing everything
Support each other
Respect and trust
Meeting halfway
Have Fun
SMILE
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Just some of the things that I didn't
think was to much to ask for.
The first few years we got to know
each other and everything was new
and we were happy, took care of
each other and it felt like
anything was possible.
But somewhere along the way
something changed and you started
to blame me for things I didn't do
or whenever you had a bad day.
You Chased on me whenever you
got a chance and for things that
wasn't my fault but YOUR.
You YELLED at me and called me
things that really stuck with me
(Hated you for that)
And for some reason after a while I started feeling guilty about things that
I hadn't done and felt like it was all
my fault cause YOU made me
feel that way. DAMN you!
And whenever you felt bad I ended
up apologize even though I knew
I had nothing to do with it.
I always putted/put everyone before myself, and as you putted YOURSELF
first in every situation, there was
just no room for ME.
After a while it was like I disappeared, was invisible and worth nothing.
When it was my Birthday, valentines
day, christmas or whatever other
day, you always said to me:
-"You have to earn if you gonna get anything, and do you really think
you're worth it?"
I actually started to believe
that I didn't... Not worthy
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I stopped asking for things for myself, stopped saying no to his every wish to avoid arguments, but was completely numb and got to a point where I just walked through the day like a real
zombie, Just not caring or feeling
anything but deep sadness and disappointment in my life.
IS THIS MY LIFE FOREVER?
Mabye he's right, mabye I'm not worth anything and doesn't deserve any of
the the things I wish for.
It got worse after that and you completely drained me from all my energy and love and dreams...
You almost killed me
My family and friends started to
notice something was wrong as I
wasn't smiling anymore and the
light in my eyes were gone.
Well I had no light in my life at that
point what I could se, except for my amazing cat Elvis who was my
lifeline then to be honest.
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THEN... One day he came home with flowers 💐 he kissed me and said he
loved me so much, and I KNEW something was wrong cause..
This just NEVER happened
Then I found out he had cheated on
me, and I actually felt something
for the first time in years.
Relief
An opening chance...
I finally had an excuse to walk away,
WITHOUT feeling guilty about it.
Was like a blessing!
THAT ... Was the day I walked away
and left everything behind me.
I decided to chose Life!
BEST DECISSION OF MY LIFE 😊
I could finally take a real deep
breath without heartache.
I started to recover and build myself
up again, with the love and support of
my family and friends I realized that
I was worth much better than this
and that I really DID matter.
I started to get really angry for all
those years I did so much for
him out of Love but he gave
Nothing back but pain.
All the draining and words that hurt
like knives I wished I could give back
to make him understand what he
did to me, and how it made me
feel small and unworthy.
But then I got to the conclusion that
it didn't matter, he was the one with problems and it was not my fault,
He just couldn't se his own part
or responsibility in anything.
So I did let it go.
BUT THEN... Came the
Afterchock
APOLAGY AND TEARS
A big sorry and that he couldn't live without me, he understood now what
he did wrong, we should try again.
I actually felt sorry for him and again
I started feeling guilty to the point
that I almost caved.
But I got that lump in the stomach
back and I just couldn't go back
to that, so I said no and that
he had to start living his
own life and I mine.
I felt a bit guilty but I got over it and
then I got all angry at him again.
who does he think he is?
Don't I deserve a happy life?
Why does someone who's suppose to
Love me, want to hurt me so Much?
Screw him 😡 no more!
So time passed and I started to finally
live again, I actually learned a lot
about myself and found my
way back to ME!
Laughing again and smiling, helping others as I love to do, and now got appreciated for it 🙏 that was a
bubbly feeling and made me
happy inside out 😊
Getting compliments again 🙈 well
(still working on taking it without blushing 😊😁 say Thank you)
Loving life again and appreciate the
little things, I se things so much clearer now and realize that in some hard situations in life it can be like
walking around blindfolded,
for me that was the case.
Sometimes it can just take a little
to long to WAKE UP!
We all matter and we are all worth
the BEST life have to offer and
happiness is a good choice!
This had happened almost right by
the time joined this amazing plattform, and it is a BIG part of my growth and people here have changed my life
for the BETTER 🤗❤️🤗
first People I met here, he saw me and took me into thealliance family.
He knew my situation and was my
biggest support and understood,
he made me belive in myself
as he always did.
He became a good friend from day one and thealliance family been my
biggest BLESSING ❤️🙏❤️
And plattform like THIS can really
change lifes (it changed mine)
Saved mine in a way to!
〰️❤️〰️
So whatever YOU might be going
through, or have gone through.
It matters, YOU matter!
And in every dark, there really
IS a Light. I promise 🥰
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THANK YOU for reading 🙏 appriciate it
And don't ever let anyone make you
feel small or unworthy, cause YOU
are worth EVERYTHING 💕
MUCH LOVE TO YA'LL ❤️
Proud Member of the best family ❤️
Peace - Unity - Family - #thealliance Amazing leader
Proud Member of #ladiesofhive
❤️
〰️❤️〰️
🌸Just happy about life and Thankful for
all the blessings in it! 🌸
@saffisara :Passionate about reading YOUR posts and commenting. Loves to laugh and take pictures. AND I'm a Hug Lover! Remember Every day is a #haturday
🌼All pictures are my own and taken by me 🌻
