Hey, I'm not sure how I ended up here, but apparently I'm following you since this post was on my feed. I just wanted to chime in to say something comforting and supportive as I too have suffered from panic attacks and anxiety and know how debilitating it can be. But I really believe that we have control in how we want to experience the world. I know what it's like to be afraid of losing control (I also still battle with this from time to time, yet it is getting better by day because I am actively working to change my beliefs and catch and stop myself when my thoughts start to spiral.), yet I think that there is so much hope and we don't have to let those anxious thoughts rule our lives.
Not that I know any better than you do, but I just wanted to offer some support as it's kind of nice and comforting to bump into someone who has had the same kind of experience that most people do not understand.