I love to go out, I really do, and thank god I have my friends, I love them, I'm very lucky. It seems lately I just stepped back, from the whole thing. When I go out, I find myself just sitting there, sometimes staring, recharging.... just like a battery. I've gone offline. I was a bit of a party animal, i've been that way for the past year at least, then all of a sudden, phhhwwwwww.... I literally just made that noise as I wrote it, all of a sudden, I conked out.
The thing is...I love people..Lately. It took some years, I had been through a really difficult stage in my life, I was in a long relationship, over 10 years, and then, all of a sudden I was single again. what a time.... ohhhhhhh what a time...
So new things came in, new faces. I began..I had to create a place where I was able to find new friends, and I did. Thank god, everything started to grow and change, I began to foster new ideas and explore, learn new things, be in new places, it was all new..Everything. Every part of my life has been right, it's shown me something, sometimes hard... but
In the Past i'd travelled, i'd been to Egypt, Thailand, New york, Europe... well that's pretty much it :) but i'd been around... i'd felt things, experienced things, but it was always like it never truly got through, it was like i was in a dream, walking. Anyway. So i'm here, lying now on this bed, and not wanting to move. They just released black mirror... season 4, a show I could write about all by itself, and my friends asked me to join to come over and see it, I stayed here, on this here bed. I really wanted to go there, I did, possibly it was that I knew about it too late or I don't know...but I didn't go.
I don't know what's happening..I think it's something about listening to who I am..
You see, before....
Ahhgg.
I need some guidance, words have power, I want the right words to come out.
that's why i'm on this bed, sitting, listening...Heavy I know :)
I do love life, I love it, I just wonder what it all means. This platform we're writing on, for example, It is an oddly useful tool for me, if it were to work as intended, sharing coins and living the life... It would be great..
We're on a evolutionary rollercoaster, we're cogs on the train, or maybe just a couple of bugs who walked over the wrong bit of wood.. though we're on it, and we're travelling.... It's our choice what to do while we're on it, do we scream and panic...create a tiny trampoline............
Thanks for reading :)