As of late, I find myself dealing with my own demons, guilt and fear of moving forward included. Through this journey of love and loss with my partner, who is now in a special dementia care facility, I have learned much about myself, and not all of it is ideal.
I'm moving from our home soon, starting fresh. In these past few weeks, I've become fairly apathetic to doing chores. Mostly I just do what has to be done, and pack a few things here and there when the notion strikes me. I'm not too keen on socializing right now either, preferring on most evenings just to hibernate away from it all. I don't even watch the news and weather.
My sensible side tries to chock most of this up to a combination of grief and exhaustion from my day job which is in its busy season right now. (I sell propane and propane accessories... really I DO!). However, there is an underlying acceptance of the fact that I'm just a little depressed, and I simply have to work through this and rediscover my carefree and goofy old self.
There have been definite bright notes in the past few months, and I credit those with being my saving grace. Being a grandma is pretty fantastic, and I've managed to kick a couple of bad habits as well.
I have faith that the future is bright, though there are days that I have to remind myself of that quite often.
I'm too tired to Steem tonight, so I bid you sweet dreams and peaceful sleep.
