You claim to be busy and consider the 'busyness' as a badge of honor. But your boss and colleagues see something quite different.
You can say your work is piling up, your schedule is full, or you do not have time. But there's a possibility when others ask how you're doing, your answer is a variation of 'I'm busy'.
Saying it out loud, or showing it by, for example, checking your phone or laptop at a meeting or working on multiple tasks at once without putting your full attention on one thing, it has become so ordinary that it does not hurt. But is that right?
Indulging our busy excuses can feel like a badge of honor. In reality, however, others are not impressed. Even worse, the impressions about you that they actually capture can damage your career and relationship, according to experts.
That's partly because the feeling of overload you're experiencing is not unique. In a survey of 9,700 full-time workers in eight countries by the end of 2014 to early 2015, roughly half the managers interviewed said their hours had risen sharply in the last five years. One in three workers says it is becoming increasingly difficult to achieve work-life balance.
Studies by professional services firm EY call work uncertainty, work in different time zones, and constantly connect digitally as a cause of increased workload.
You are not as busy as you think#
The problem is not just an increased workload, or that our lives are loaded with non-stop devices and applications and connectivity in the present.
"I've worked in many companies where the bustle is rushing," says human resources strategist and consultant Ed Baldwin, who has been in this field for 25 years. "Employees see their boss very busy, and if they want to get the rank, they also want to look busy."
Maybe that sounds like a good strategy. After all, we are all told to dress in accordance with the work we want and act like the people in our dream job behave. But being busy is an exception in that way of thinking. Instead of giving a positive impression, you are more likely to look inefficient and disrespectful.
It is a common misconception that looking busy-even if it is not-shows you are valuable, be it for your boss, colleagues, family, or friends. And there may be times when it's right-until it becomes a habit, which you do without thinking.
But others hear something very different. The actual message you are conveying, says Ed Baldwin, is "I am not very good at prioritizing my time" and, by that time, you will not be a priority of others.
Busyness and time to relax have become a status symbol, says Silvia Bellezza, an assistant professor of marketing at Columbia Business School, New York City, and author of the scientific report "Conspicuous Consumption of Time."
In the past, until about 1960, says Bellezza, a relaxed lifestyle is considered a marker of wealth and success, but today it is the opposite. In the job market - where talent seekers hunt the best candidates-busy people are seen to have the necessary skills and characteristics.
"We are telling the world that our human capital capital is very scarce," she said.
Social media is filled with celebrities who are "humble to heighten" about how busy they are touring and no time to live a normal life. While wearing diamond rings or expensive watches is a traditional way of showing off wealth, a new and more nuanced way of showing status is showing off your busy life, says Bellezza, according to some of his studies.
This habit is so prevalent in the US.#
"Work is the essence of American identity," Bellezza said. "But in Europe the fastest aspect of life is much more meaningful.For example, in Italy, in June, people talk about what they will do in the summer.If you say that you will work all summer, think you're a loser, you have no money to splurge, and you're not an attractive person. "
Being busy is also a way of convincing myself, according to a recent study by J. Christine Kim, assistant professor of marketing at Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, Kowloon. "When people say they are busy, it makes them feel that their life is important and their presence means to those around them," Kim said.
It hides something that most of us do not want to imagine, let alone admit it.
"Part of it is the mental of victims and stoicism, we want to be heard," said business psychologist Tony Crabbe, consultant to firms like Microsoft, Disney and HASBC, and author of the book Busy.
"And deep down there is the recognition that we disappoint ourselves or family with this endless activity, that this is unproductive, it does not help."
Problems of interpretation#
So if 'busy' is a word so dirty, but if your work is so piling up, what can you say?
Laura Simms, a Detroit-based risk and safety specialist, has sage advice. "I'm really annoyed every time I hear that word 's'," he said. And, he added, the word was meaningless.
"I would rather hear someone say, 'I'm doing this job now and will be happy to call you back at 4 pm.' 'Busy' ignores others and does not give them a chance to get on your priority list. "
In spite of the fact that we have many tasks to complete in a day, often with boss supervision. So, it's a matter of communication and a clear priority. But what words can you use to explain that you can not do everything for everyone?
Semms suggested, "I would say, 'Do you want me to finish this job first or help you now?'"
You place priority issues on people who want to increase your workload. Typically, they will ask you to complete your task and then contact them to discuss a new assignment.
And next time someone asks how you're doing, pause before you answer "busy". Instead, use the opportunity to say something interesting.
"Be creative, say something that involves you or make you excited, something you do, or something you do on weekends," Semms said.
"One thing's for sure: telling long stories about how busy you are will not advance your career or create a fun moment for you and the other person."