What is Fear of the Loss of the Known? Fear of the loss of what we have is a normal and necessary emotion. It arises from the realization that something we have is going away or that we may not have everything we once did. We recognize that something that used to be a major source of happiness is going away or may not return. The fear of losing our known is a reaction to this realization. It is an instinctive defense mechanism that has kept us since prehistoric times safe from dangerous situations.
It is natural for us to be afraid of loss. It is part of what makes us human. We know, without doubt, that there is going to come a time when all of our things are gone. That time comes every day, even when we do not think about it. Our survival instincts tell us when to prepare for the unknown by gathering and creating new sources of food and shelter. When the unknown does appear, we are so emotionally charged with the memory of the things we have that we are ready to run and hide.
In times of great disaster or major loss, our emotions can get the best of us and cause us to act before we think logically or rationally. We begin to worry and wonder about what might have been, who would have known and how could any of it have been possible. These thoughts cause us to have unrealistic fears about what might happen and a desire to try to get our losses under control. The problem is that these fears keep getting in the way and prevent us from acting in a rational and realistic way.
The best strategy is to work through the grief and sadness without dwelling on the losses. This is one of the most powerful things you can learn because it is usually the thing we miss the most. Focus on the positives in the loss and use all your energy to work toward building solutions for the positive outcome rather than dwelling on the negative. If there were a money management program that allowed you to take a look at your expenditures, look at your income and see where it is highest and lowest, and then work towards reducing your expenses while increasing your income, wouldn't this be a good idea? It sure would. But until you get to this point, you are bound to continue to wonder about what might have been.
There are times when the loss is so great that there is nothing you can do to prevent it from happening. The key is to accept the loss and deal with it. Try not to look at it as a loss but more like an opportunity. You need to figure out what went wrong and why it happened. Learn how to bounce back from setbacks and turn those setbacks into learning experiences.
A great way to overcome loss fear is to actually write about it. Many people who seem to be very defeatist or shy will not write about their loss. They feel that they should just let it go and move on. They may even be right, but it is very important for them to take the time to consider what they are doing and why they are doing it.
One thing to help in overcoming loss fear is to focus on the gains that you have gained. There are many people who seem to have a great deal of loss, but if they focused their attention on the gains that they have accrued instead of dwelling on the losses, then there are a great deal of positives that come from such a focus. For example, a person may have lost a lot of weight. However, if that person really concentrated on putting that weight on again, then a good portion of that weight could eventually be put back on again. If you do not take the time to consider the positives and talk about them, then you could easily find yourself always blaming something else for the loss of the unknown.
It is possible to win the unknown. You simply have to be willing to open your mind and give it a chance. The more you learn about things, the more it seems likely that there is going to be some part of the story that no one else has heard. The more you learn about things, the more the unknown seems less mysterious and more like a known fact.