Living is doing...just do it :) A good read would be Vipassana by Sr. Goenka. You can download it for free on PDFDrive.com. I know that my life situation is totally different from yours but still i feel compassion and willingness to share with you some value. Just read the book, hope it can help you. It's about meditation
RE: I Do Not Know How To Live Anymore But I have To Stand My Ground And Still Fight