The sounds of the crowd cheering below barely registered, drowned out by the sheer depth of the moment itself, a booming silence that drew one away from that outward mask and into the truth of their being.
There was no beginning, there was no end, just the rock wall, the rungs, and the movement, no thought, no real action, just an observer in an endless unbroken sea.
It was not 'me' that rang the bell, it was not 'me' that kicked off and rappelled down the face of that wall, having conquered the most difficult portion, no, there was no conquering, there was no overcoming, all said and done, the person on his way down was not the same as the one that had made the climb.
It all seemed so slow going, everything, only to be informed by one of the staff that 'I' had made the climb in a mere thirty seconds; the fastest climb they had seen on that portion of the wall, 'I' now held the record.
'Holy shit!' I said, 'it felt like I was up there for twenty minutes!'
My children huddled around me cheering, amazed, 'Daddy! You were going so fast it was almost like a blur!' one of them said, likely an exaggeration as I patted him on the head as I decided to head towards a nearby bench and have a seat after removing the harness.
***
This was just one experience in a long string of experiences throughout the course of my life, sometimes overwhelming, sometimes exhilarating, sometimes terrifying leaving me on the edge of breakdown.
What lies beneath the surface is more than just moving parts, but one would be hard pressed to see this if they are merely looking as what they will likely see is, despite their personal views, a grouping of processes ruled by chemical make-up, electrical impulses, wiring, blood.
The bio-chemical aspect alone is enough to throw someone's persona off; the slight change in chemistry can cause a MAJOR change in mood, so one would be hard pressed to find anything beyond this as we all seem to be the sum of our parts.
It is only when we stop looking, stop seeking, start actually doing to the point that we lose ourselves in what we are doing that we catch a slight glimpse of something more, something deeper, not our persona, not some limited notion of self, but the raw purity beneath it all which slows down time itself, or at least our perception of it as our neurons fire ever faster.
Even the notion of 'Body' drops away as our 'Body' becomes one with the activity, the activity and everything involved IS our 'Body' IS our 'Selves.'
Some people call this 'Flow,' the Japanese Zen Buddhist would call it 'Satori,' Catholic Mystics would call it the 'Unknowing,' whatever the word chosen to describe it and whatever description is given rarely does it justice, seldom even touches upon what it actually is.
The best we can hope for is to come close to what it is not, should be we the type of person seeking to understand such a thing so that it can be harnessed or even shared with others to optimize their life experience.
***
What are the implications of such an experience? To realize that, in each moment, there is only the moment; to completely and totally exist AS the moment, not just IN the moment?
One could, if they chose, take this to their job and rise through the ranks simply by becoming fully involved, fully engaged in what they are doing, but most of us hate our 9 to 5 grind, so it is extremely hard to become fully engaged in any aspect of it.
THAT is actually the point that keeps us from optimal experience, judgment, 'I hate this,' the mind says regarding one thing, 'I love that,' it says regarding another in an endless string of judgments that start with the concept of 'I' itself, an attachment to whatever that means.
We move away from discomfort and towards comfort, we have some sort of need to reinforce the self and, for some reason, that involves avoiding the things we hate, or, simply accepting that we have to do the things we hate in order to get what we think we want or need.
This endless cycle produces mediocrity, gives us no freedom, might produce a house, a car, lots of stuff, but no depth of beings, no grand experience, no real life at all.
How do we fix this problem? We have to actually shake the foundation of what we think is our being, we have to crack the persona, shatter the mask, and stop attaching to things, simply let them flow as we train a deep focus within each activity, but how do we do this?
First, breathe, second, be.
***
Sit however you like, in a chair, on the floor, cross-legged, not cross-legged, however you like. Relax. Breathe. Now take the mind and place it in the breathing, not each breath, there is only one breath rolling in and out, just breathe and ignore all the philosophical, spiritual, and religious mumbo-jumbo associated with the activity as they tend to get in the way of the activity.
Sit for ten to fifteen minutes at first, should the mind wander, take notice, bring it back to the breath, each time settling it there, deep, acknowledge the wandering mind, bring it back, like doing reps of Push-ups or Sit-ups at the gym, with each repetition your mind will be conditioned to settle where you direct it to settle.
Work up to twenty minutes, thirty minutes, forty minute to an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening before bed.
Next, work this into standing, then walking, then every activity you do throughout the day, work it into work, acknowledge thoughts and feelings, let them pass, bring your mind back to your breath, each and every moment of each and every day, then, finally, let go of the breath.
Next... Simply bring your mind to your whole body, just sit, just stand, be aware of your sitting and standing, be intensely aware in everything, should the mind wander, bring it back to this awareness, each moment of every day in everything you are doing.
Slowly that awareness will widen to include your surroundings, to include the people within those surrounding, the things, the animals, the insects, everything, as though your concept of what a body actually is has dropped away with the expansion of awareness.
Now, simply... Be.