The world around me is silent though I can perfectly hear what my family are saying, the pain within my heart seems not to go away , I feel like fainting, my heart throb as I couraged myself to be strong, this is "tension" I guess , I have an ache in my stomach yet I can't cry, this is not the physical pain but pain from emotions. No one understand me even when I had to explain, for those who do, they still doesn't understand me completely. They wouldn't just get it until they had to understand me completely. But what if there was someone who understand me completely, emphatically , who could make me smile when I was sad but then after a year of unresponded text message or call, I realized I don't have that person anymore. Binta Sat with her left leg crossed on the other as she try to narrate her story as she hoped someone will understand.
The story
I couldn't watch my family being scattered
Among itself at the time I needed them the most, "could this be karma"? Binta asked herself, she could remember her grandmother once told her of an action her mum took which was close to this present situation. She desired that her family was happy but the opposite seems to be happening, she had tried all she could to bring up The lost Joy but her effort seem fruitless.
"Your mum and dad are such a huge warriors" her friends mocked her on course. This left her crying the more. She could remember a day she was most afraid seeing her mum lying almost lifeless in a pool of blood thoroughly beaten by her dad. "Is this how every family Is,are men all like these"? A question that leaves her restless of her future.
This fear of not getting the future she desired left her in a huge tension, her world seems to be collapsing right in front of her, when everyone you love is unhappy, you appear to have no one in the end. She could only tell people it was nothing when she felt they wouldn't understand as she purposed in her heart to make things right .
Binta has been the only child of Mr and Mrs Rufus , they loved each other deeply but as years gone by , Rufus traditional belief changed his perspective on the essence of marriage. He needed a male child but it was not coming forth. Friends have intrigued fear in his life of loosing it all and his belongings to a stranger when he dies with no male offspring and that's where the sweet story changed to a sad one when Mr Rufus started his quest for a male child. The tension for Mr Rufus increased when he realized he was getting older yet his beautiful wife was no longer getting pregnant.
"So your womb carries just one female child and no space for another, who knows if you have done several abortion in the past which is affecting you now" Mr Rufus said, hoping to prink his wife so that a fight can begin. All she did was cry.
The attention he had on binta began to die off. She felt abandoned , the only person who she had relied on as a supporter now sees her as a stranger, she could only imagine on what had happened to her once lovely dad who she was proud of to introduce to the world.
Would I be able to love genuinely? Would I have a husband who will love me completely without being gender sensitive of his children? Would I gain back my happy family once again? This unanswered questions generated tension in Binta's heart as she bleed silently from emotional stress.
"Yes, you can and will" she heard a voice , statured fron her sitting position looking around from where the voice came from.