I was following a comment section on Instagram a some hours back, and my attention was drawn to something that made me jeer and roll my eyes. The discussion was on pain, and the way you cope - emotional discomfort and bodily pain. Many people shared their experiences, and the folks that God gave the standards for measuring discomfort (the rest of us came late to that creation meeting), started giving out the ‘that’s not so painful, I was…’ speech. Like I said earlier, I jeered, kept scrolling down and I gave it a little attention, until I encountered this situation in real life. Sometimes, I don't remember that the same set of people that exist on social media also exist in real life, with the same manner of thinking.
Friends! someone said, ‘that's not a big deal na’, in response to something that was obviously causing distress to someone, and I was like, hol up, rewind….pause! It is not a competition, dammit!
How did we come about the habit of comparing other people’s pain to ours, and judging them based on how we have responded to it, or think we would. You might be strong enough not to feel a heartbreak, but then it could torn someone else apart, so telling them that what they are passing through doesn’t matter, or is a small thing, just because you are numb to such, is really senseless.
Different individuals have different pain threshold potentials. For some people, it is small sized, even an apparently little physical distress causes them a lot of pain, and they may be weak emotionally, and for some people, it takes a whole lot to get them to breakdown. This doesn’t make the other person’s discomfort any less.
A person’s pain is as much a part of them as a body part is, and if they decide to share it with you, then you have a role, a role to be human with their pain. Don’t tell them how you have been through worse situations; you're not in a competition, or how worse things have happened to other people. When they share, they are not necessarily asking you to understand, but, maybe to try and console, and if you can, help them heal. If you can’t do any of those, the least you can do is try not to aggravate the situation.
This may be the reason why people don't share their bothers, when they will be told that their pain is not that serious, so instead we have more people dying from depression and suicide because the world has taken to comparing and juxtaposing pain instead of simply listening.
If it hurts, then it hurts and it ought to be dealt with with some respect!
Steemians, this trend will not suddenly come to an abrupt end on its own, it requires me, you and us to make a change.
P. S: To everyone that comment on social media, trade your pain measurement standards for some humanity, we are in dire need of that around here.