Hello, my name is Dylan and I am new to this. (Just got approved today) so bear with me as I've not written anything like this in a while.. Or ever.

This will be a start of many stories as I just want to get a lot of things in my head, out.. I think that makes sense?

Anyway, I want to take you along on a journey starting from the past, up until the future, I'll bring you along with me as I progress.

Let's start with some small information about myself.

I'm 17 and I am from Scotland, I live in a small town on the border. I wasn't born in Scotland, I was born in England but moved to Scotland when I was quite young. When I first moved to this town I lived with my granny for a while (not sure how long). That was quite mad, there was 7 people in one 2 bedroom house, I didn't care though, everyone was together and it was fun. Me and my brother used to play on the PlayStation with the eyetoy I think it's called and it was a good time.

We then moved out into a 3 bedroom house which I am still currently in, we've lived here for a long time, not sure how long either. (I know bad memory right)

I won't bore you with any other stuff, it's all pretty mainstream although, I do have some good stories from my childhood which may interest and entertain some of you.

My parents split up when I was young, it never really bothered me for some reason. If anything I was happy as there was no more arguments, my brother was broke up about it but it never really impacted me. Obviously it was shit that they did break up but like I said, it never really impacted me. My mum moved back to my grannys for a few years until she got a house in the same town. I should probably tell you that my parents were and are still friends. They were adults about it and just got in with their lives.

Not gonna lie I don't know where I'm going with this..

Let me take you to my school years.

Primary school was pretty bad, I used to miss a lot of school, I had plenty of friends but for some reason I just didn't go. I didn't hate it but just had something inside me not wanting to go.

In Secondary school it was the same but it started off well. I was a fat chubby kid in first year always being the class clown. When I went into First Year I didn't know anybody at the school apart from people who I came with so we stuck together.

First year was great (apart from being fat with far too long of hair). When it got into the later stages I had quite a few friends, I wouldn't say I was popular but people knew me you know? Like I could talk to most people in the class bar few. It was good, I had 2 girlfriends that year I think, one I broke up with at the start and one I had for a few days so I would probably only say I had one...

Second year was good and bad. At the start my classes were going well, I got better at Maths and English was always a good subject for me. I still talked to people and our friend group grew from about 4 people to 12 sitting around the bus stops having a good laugh. It was a good time. I then started talking to a girl, I won't say her actual name so we'll just call her girl. At the time I didn't realise this but she was kind of weird? She would always say she's a psychic and other things but worst of all... She was an attention seeker. An attention seeker is someone who would always go on Facebook or any social media to get likes and attention, she got attention by saying lies though. Or something like "Oh I hate that person so much!" and people would comment "Ohh who? Pm me babesxxx". Stuff along those lines, I'm finding it hard to put across how bad she was at attention seeking. It was like 'likes' were her drug and she was addicted. A lot of girls did this but she was the worst but for some reason, I couldn't stay away from her, she was like my drug. A girl, the worst drug addiction but sometimes the best.

We talked for ages and I eventually asked her out. Now, at that time asking someone out was a huge deal, like it was the most nerve racking thing anyone could do. I still remember how I did it, over text. I was on Facebook messenger and I typed it and sent it and I immediately ran downstairs got a glass of milk and ran back up to find out she had replied "Are you asking me out?". I'm sure it said something else but I can't fully remember. My heart sunk, I thought I had messed up. But I just though "f..k it" and replied with "yes". She took her time but she actually said yes. I was so happy at the time, like an actual girlfriend? Amazing. We posted it on Facebook to make it official of course and everyone liked it and posted nice comments. It was great. Maybe I was becoming an attention seeker? Maybe not. We went out for 6 months I think, the first months were great, you know the first kiss, the first sleepover that kind of stuff. It was great. Until it wasn't. At like 5 months it got bad for me. I would always want to go through to see her but she was always busy or couldn't and then she started not putting "x's" at the end or saying "I love you" anymore, it got weird. At this time saying "I love you" didn't really mean "I love you" you know but it still hurt me because I was trying so hard but she wasn't. She then dumped me (broke up with me) over text, like how it started. I won't lie to you, I was pretty sad about it, probably because I was trying so hard but I got on with life. My friend comforted me saying bad things about her and at this time, my family were pretty happy that we broke up. They had always been saying she was an attention seeker and I should of done it sooner although they never met her.

A week after we broke up she got with another boy, a boy I knew and had talked to but never great friends. At this time I was still getting myself together but when I seen them I wasn't sad, I was angry and it fixed me. I was angry at how she could just forget those 6 months and move on straight away but it fixed me and I was happy for it. They broke up after like 2 months so wasn't all bad.

I got into trouble at school quite a lot, being teachers sending me to isolation for being the class clown or me playing football with a bottle and supposedly "nearly taking someones eye out" with it. It never went near them I swear.

By this time I had grown up a bit, got taller and skinnier and got a haircut. (This was towards the end of the year) I was looking pretty good.

I started talking to the girl again, you know, the weird one and we ended up going out.. again. This time was weird though as I didn't want to but I couldn't stop myself. Like I said, "girls are the worst drug addiction". My friend went out with someone at the same time which I think influenced me more to do it unfortunately. I can't remember how long we went out for but I won't bore you with the details. Throughout this time with her I was feeling quite depressed being with her, she would always put me down and herself down. It wasn't a healthy relationship. I stopped going to school a bit more and missing some important classes. We broke up and when we did I didn't care, it was whatever. Actually, when we started going out I actually liked someone else, me and this other girl were talking a lot but the weird one didn't like it and tried to put a stop to it which it did end.

Before we broke up my other friend broke up with his girlfriend, the reason why was because they didn't talk enough or something? Remember that.

It was getting towards the end of 3rd year (yeah we skipped a year shh I can't keep track of time) and there was a school dance and at this time I was talking to my best friends ex.. yes his ex. I was a scum but I didn't realise this. I asked her to come to the school dance with me and she accepted it but she said "only as friends"... Challenge accepted. Before the school dance I asked her out and she said yes. I know I'm a bad friend for going out with my friend's ex but I did ask him if he was okay with it, he said we'd make a good couple. If he said no I wouldn't of.

The dance was great, she was beautiful, I was wearing a kilt, it was a good time. We went out for a while but I ended up breaking up with her as we "didn't talk enough". Remember? It was that and something that happened that caused us not to talk. Her little sisters school had a dance going on and she wanted me to go with her so she wasn't bored so I went but she was also going to bring a friend which was fine with me but I didn't like her friend that much, tell you why in a second. I got a bus around 7 or 8 as it was about 4 miles away and I got off at the bus stop where they were gonna meet me. They weren't there. I walked up to the top but stop, no one there. Bearing in mind I didn't know where the dance was. I messaged her but no reply so I waited at the bus stop for a bit longer but no one there. I must have waited like an hour. The buses were coming every 2 hours and I didn't want to wait that long so I started to walk home. I got halfway to a town and a bus went past me, yes I got the times wrong. I ended up walking like 2 and a half miles until I sat down at a bus stop and waited 30 minutes.

When I got home I connected to my internet and loads of messages came up, not from my girlfriend at the time, but from her friend. She was so angry at me, not even giving me a chance. I said what happened to my girlfriend but she didn't believe me, probably because of her friend. That's what cause the break up but I should of just smashed through it but I didn't, I gave up. One of my biggest regrets in life.

I stopped going to school in 4th year, ended up getting into college for a media course, met some really nice people, I passed the first part of the course, I was always going to college until I didn't. There was no point in being there as there was no teachers for media. They would bring in substitutes who doesn't know anything. So I left. During this time I got fat and here I am now.. Playing games all day and getting even fatter. I want that to change and this is why I am here basically. I want to change and I want to post it somewhere so I can look back on it and be proud of myself. If anyone does read this, keep me focused on the main goal which is to get fit and get a job. (I am looking).

I want to reinvent myself.

Thanks for reading. I don't even know if this all made sense.

xoxo