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“Yung akala mo sa love lang may the one who got away.”

Once upon a time, I dreamt of becoming a seafarer. I want to travel the world for free at the same time earning money for my family. I was once closer to that dream but it slowly fade away. It slipped through my fingers even if I hold and grip it tightly.

Everything went so fast. I passed the entrance examination of a prestigious academy here in the Philippines. It was so surreal because finally I got to pursue my dream. I tried for two times before finally succeeding to be a part of the Corps of Midshipmen. I passed the one month orientation period/ probationary training and was considered as a cadet. On the day of the training, I got so shocked with what is happening inside the academy. Push up here. Push up there. Run here. March there. People are shouting everywhere. But after the month long training, I can say that it was all worth it. Our Orientation Staffs really give their best in order for us to learn and to be disciplined. They shared to us their knowledge, skills, and trained us very hard for us to be ready during the regular days. I was also a part of the regimental officers and I am proud to say that I am the only girl among the six.

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Class started and we were like 200 plus new cadets. We are also called 4th Class, the lowest mammal in the academy. We need to be disciplined and the only rule is just to OBEY, OBEY and OBEY. We are also not allowed to have phones. To make the long story short, after 4 months of struggle, my body could not take the training anymore. I was diagnosed with pneumonia. When our liberty expired, I did not come back to the academy anymore. I was marked AWOL. Many of my upperclassmen got worried especially my take charge. I became very sad because of what happened.

Outside the academy, it was so hard to cope up. I’ve gotten use to the training. Waking up at 4:30 in the morning and sleeping at 10 pm. I’ve gotten used to the daily routine. My body is looking for the exercises, for my seniors presence and also to my co-cadets. I was really hard to let go of my dream. But then maybe, everything happens for a reason. Maybe it was really not for me. Even if you really it, if it is not for you, it will never be for you. I think God has a better plan for me. He will never abandon me. I will trust Him and His perfect timing.

“God has a reason for allowing things to happen. We may never understand His wisdom but we simple have to trust His will.”

-PSALM 37:5