https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.angelfire.com%2Fon2%2Fevilpikachu%2Fimages%2FSatanPika2.jpg&f=1

I am admittedly, the most evil liar, cheater, thief, and scammer this world has ever known, not to mention a prolific spammer, squatter, extortionist.

This world is a rat race, and it pays to be in the right place at the right time. A second too soon or late can cost your life. Through no fault of your own, I was here before you, and that makes me the early bird by definition. But I digress. Let’s get down to business; you know I love making deals.

Because you allowed people to own businesses, you began allowing your businesses to possess the rights of people.

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/02/if-corporations-are-people-they-should-act-like-it/385034/ https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Since I am in the business of collecting people, naturally, I want the most powerful ones. So here’s what I propose:

You bring me a corporate representative with correct credentials, and I will issue them their Steemit.com account/domain name free of charge.

Now I know what you are thinking: “What does the evil bitcoinsatan receive in return for giving away the private keys to the Steemit identities of the most important, wealthy, and influential “(corporate) people” on this planet? What motive could the world’s most greedy soul have for giving away real private property that is worth thousands of $teem?

Well, I like the way you think, and I’ll even answer your question. I may be greedy, but I’m far from stupid. Not only do I possess the private keys to the Steemit.com domains for every major acronym from ABC to XYZ, I also own STEEM POWER as well. And what better way to increase the value of my STEEM POWER than by bringing the real Mark Cuban, Jeff Bezos, and Steve Jobs over to Steemit. Whoops, I forgot I already had collected Steve Jobs (a rare one). But again, I digress.

Steemit’s financial incentive structure for even the most predatory users like me, offers 2 direct monetization strategies:

Get upvotes to get $teem
Convince rich and famous whales to join STEEM which increases the value of my ownership equity (STEEM POWER).

And since I’m as lazy as I am greedy, I can simultaneously cash in on both incentives by simply giving away my squatters rights for upvotes.

So there you have it folks, If you ever hope to have a real (uncensored) AMA with the owners of the Trump Towers anytime soon ( https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/4uyt2a/trump_ama_censored_hidden_by_reddit_hq_admins/ ), then steem me:

https://img1.steemit.com/0x0/https://www.steemimg.com/images/2016/07/23/steempower1fd93.gif

( https://steemit.com/meme/@bleepcoin/jetsteem )

So get your clicker fingers ready, because we are about to harpoon the largest school of whales the world has ever seen. Your upvotes will help draw attention to the proper authorities of the biggest corporations on the planet who will soon be able to access their unique brand name on the Steemit platform for free.

Now I could just sit here tell you that I possess the private keys to coke, sony, and verizon, but I doubt that I would get as many upvotes as I would if I showed you that I owned, Apple, Google, and