We are glad to have our hard-hitting journalism work reach your way. Fact of the day: Burger doesn't spell the same backward.

And is Nketiah planning to box either of them? Or is he the MMA analyst?

does Robert Lewandowski deserve the Ballon d'or next year? We believe he already deserves it in 2037.

It was rather shocking seeing a selfish player on the pitch who constantly fights with the manager gets excluded.

We find it disgraceful that you didn't add the game of Cards Against Humanity our staff will play on Christmas. That's just offensive.

Many names are missing from your list. My cousin Jack, says he can outplay Jordan in his prime. So it is weird not to see him getting drafted this year. He might get drafted next year...... if he joins

According to our research, Lukaku is one of the best Belgian strikers in Chelsea currently. I bet Tuchel is glad to have himm back.

Well, that's the entire population. Half of those are above the age. Only around 15% of those are at the game where their football career starts. More than of them are females, so 7% at best qualify as

Thanks for passing by to read our article.

We are glad you have read through our news article. We have recently moved to the Comedy Open Mic Community where we feel our news will be taken more seriously.

Our experts told us to fuck off when we asked them, so it is uncertain whether your answer is true or not.

We sure hope he does so, we will gladly be the ones to take that.

Already fired.

Thank you, Mr. Yo. We will make sure to include this in our correction piece, apologies that our team of Pulitzer Prize winners missed that.

Our investing experts say that you need to make money in order to lose money.

According to our research team, sleeping 8 hours in 4 hours is impossible as you need at least 5 hours to sleep for 8 hours.

We shall cover it in our news segment.

It is rather baffling that you find such disturbing news amusing. Bento hasn't been able to move his right arm for a week now, it was quite the effort to go through his sticky researchpaper.

Think of us as The Ink Well of news. After all, we use the same methods. Also, we don't call them fake facts, we call them better facts.

We shall meet in court!