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I place holds at the library I want to read more books But I can’t go pick them up Even though it's necessary My anxiety breaks me One fragment can’t go alone I watch the hold date end Saddled with a restocking fee ![2023.11.29 - Copy.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/elameadows/AKNKGrvfUCLhK9BvATxg8evofHEdQv4p96ir8tZVUCvdQXFJbnn9VcAxmnWJ2TK.JPG) Image Description: A tall, grey stone building with arched windows framed in dark green trim. Vines with green leaves growing up and across it. Inspiration is one of the simplest and most wonderful things. I find its often easier to think small. In this case I focused in on my turmoil with using my local library. My budget and physical space are very small so I am forced to be selective about what items I bring into my home to stay. With how quickly I devour books it necessitates using the library. I have a branch a short walking distance away. The city will transfer books between branches in order for me to pick up at my preferred location. And yet I struggle. I have agoraphobia so going out is often an impenetrable barrier. I place books on hold then freeze with panic about picking them up. Then the hold is returned to its home branch after 7 days of my not picking it up and I’m stuck with a restocking fee. Sometimes I get into such a bad spiral about it that I simply cancel all my holds and give up. I brought all these tangled threads over a simple issue to form this poem. If you want to end on a happier note – one of the librarians offered to work with me to get on their accessibility program which would provide a variety of adaptations to my borrowing rules that would make my life much easier. [Link to the Poem on my Blog](https://elameadows.wordpress.com/2023/11/29/library-fees)